get unfucked. You might not believe this now, but I respect you too much to put you through the shit I’d bring into your life.”
I didn’t miss the flash of desire in her eyes. I also didn’t miss them narrowing. And there was no missing that her patience had snapped. So I was ready when she pulled away from the cabinet and snapped her shoulders back. But I was not ready for her to put her hands on her hips, leaving her blouse to open and expose her cleavage.
“I don’t get a say in any of this?”
“Nope. None.”
“I was wrong, you’re not the man I thought you were. Not only are you a coward, you’re fucking blind, Brady.”
Jesus, that fucking killed. My jaw clenched, my gut recoiled, and I knew it was time to leave. I deserved everything she was saying. I was a total dick, but hearing her tell me I wasn’t the man she thought I was, shattered me because it was true. I wasn’t. But I never wanted her to know the truth.
“You’re right,” I huffed. “More right than you understand. I am not the man you thought I was. Never will be.”
“Whatever you say, Brady,” she snapped snottily.
“Babe, there’s no reason for us to be tearing each other apart and for this to get ugly. Straight up, that shouldn’t have happened. I lost control and it was a dick thing to do.”
Hadley’s head tilted and her eyes roamed over my face. Under normal circumstances, I’d shut this down. But I’d ripped her clothes off and fucked her in her bathroom without care or concern I was taking her hard. I also didn’t think about the repercussions. I’d allowed all my pent-up need for her to come out and when it did, I couldn’t control it.
I didn’t regret it—not one single second of us coming together. What I regretted was the fallout, the irrevocable change.
I regretted the hurt I’d caused.
And I seriously regretted I’d never be the man she needed.
6
I’d learned a few things watching my sisters fall in love. I’d paid attention when it happened to my brother and cousins.
And what I’d learned was there were things worth fighting for. There were times when you didn’t hold back. But there were also times to retreat and regroup.
What I didn’t know was, which one of those things I needed to do now—fight or retreat. Did I keep him here or did I let him walk out the door? With Brady, I figured if I allowed him to leave, he’d avoid me and I wouldn’t get another shot to get him alone.
My choice was made for me, because I only had right now.
“Do you lose control a lot?” I inquired.
“What?”
“You said you lost control. So I’m asking, does that happen to you a lot?”
“Hadley—”
“Answer me, Brady. Does it?”
“No,” he clipped.
I released the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. I wasn’t sure what I would’ve said if he’d told me he lost control frequently but I knew it would’ve hurt.
“So why’d you lose control with me?”
Brady’s mouth clamped shut and he closed down.
I was on the right track. Time to push.
“C’mon, tell me.”
“Told you why.”
“No, you told me you liked fucking me. You told me you wanted me. I’d suspect there have been a lot of women you’ve wanted.” I had to stop and swallow the bitter taste saying those words brought. “So why’d you lose control with me?”
Brady stood straighter and crossed his arms over his chest and I made another decision—I wasn’t going to hold back.
“The first time I saw you, I fell in love with you. That was four years ago. I knew I was too young, I had to finish school, get a job, start my career, and get myself sorted. That didn’t mean I was giving up on what I wanted, I just knew it wasn’t the right time. I also knew you weren’t ready, you needed time to settle in after getting out of the Army. And in those four years, I only fell more in love. So if you think after waiting all this time to finally get what you gave me tonight, that I’m going to let you tell me it was a mistake, you’re wrong. If you think I’m not gonna fight for what I want, you don’t know me. And if you think I’m gonna stand here and let you try to bullshit me and tell me that what we did meant nothing to you, you’ve seriously misjudged