Damaged Love - Jaxson Kidman Page 0,62

eyes wanted to figure it out and follow the pattern but I suddenly had the feeling that someone was watching me.

I turned my head and sucked a breath.

Noah was next to me in the bed.

“I’d give you some coffee but it’s cold by now,” he said.

“Noah. How are you feeling?” I asked as I sat up.

I pulled at the covers to keep them under my chin.

I wasn’t naked or anything, but I still felt a little exposed.

“Where’s everyone else?” I asked.

“Uh, well,” Noah said. “Easton is still sleeping. Xavier went for a run and to workout. He’s probably getting in the shower soon. I don’t know. As for me, I’m here.”

Noah lifted his coffee cup and smiled.

“That was crazy last night, Noah. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“How I’m feeling and if I’m okay are two different things,” he said.

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“Shit happens,” he said. “I had a little bit too much to drink.”

“You started heavy, Noah. Right after you talked to your-”

“Shh, don’t say it,” he said. “Don’t bring them up.”

“Okay. What about Henry?”

Noah’s face dropped. “Really?”

“I asked and refuse to give up.”

Noah put his coffee cup down. He then slipped under the covers and slid down to put his head on the pillow. It was like we had slept together.

“Come here,” he whispered.

I swallowed hard and inched down.

I put my head on the pillow and we faced each other.

Under the same covers together.

His hand touched my arm.

I shivered.

“You want to know about my past now, don’t you?” Noah asked.

“Maybe.”

“You care about me, don’t you?”

“Only as much as you care about me,” I said.

Noah inched closer to me.

He kissed my forehead.

I caught myself shutting my eyes and wanting to melt into him.

Ohgod, Winter, what are you doing?

His fingertips moved up and down my arm, sending chills through my body.

My toes curled a little as I fought the urge to throw my leg around him and pull him closer.

If Easton was still sleeping and Xavier wasn’t here…

No, no, no, no, no.

I opened my eyes and Noah’s eyes were right there.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes…

I brushed my lips to his.

Together, in bed. Under the covers.

Noah and I…

He then slipped his hand to my back and pulled me against him.

His chin touched the top of my head.

I smelled his shirt and I smiled.

Just for a minute I wanted to forget about the accident and what they had done just so I could have this moment of normal.

Nothing will ever be normal, Winter.

“Whatever they told you is true,” Noah said. “I don’t like coming here, Winter. I don’t like the reminder of it all. Everyone sees rich and powerful and thinks that’s all it is. They see the nice shirts, or the blood on the shirts, and they think I’ve got it all worked out. Maybe that’s the way I like it and need it. Just so I can breathe. It’s a fucked up thing to feel, but have you ever felt like you couldn’t breathe even though you were in a wide open space?”

“All the time,” I said. “I mean, right now I can’t breathe all that much because you’re hugging me so tight…”

Noah laughed. “I can’t help it when I’m with you, Winter. Especially right now.”

“Why right now?” I asked.

Noah took a deep breath and didn’t answer me.

He just moved back to what he wanted to talk about.

“Sometimes it gets a little dark. I shouldn’t run to drinking like I did last night. But sometimes it’s the only thing that helps.”

“That’s okay,” I said. “Just as long as it’s not all the time. Then you’ll end up in big trouble.”

“Does that matter to you?” Noah asked.

“I don’t know.”

“Do you love me, Winter?”

“What?” I asked. I inched away from him. “What did you just ask?”

Noah stared at me.

He moved at me and kissed me hard.

He kissed me fast.

His body against mine.

“I just need to know,” he said, his mouth still touching mine.

We kissed again.

I kissed him back.

I wanted him.

I wasn’t going to answer his question.

How could I?

There was no answer to that question.

But it proved that Noah was desperate for love.

That made him weak.

We kept kissing.

My mind raced, torn between thinking of ways to ruin him and ways to get him on top of me and inside me.

Noah started to move on top of me.

My body ached for him. Ached to feel good. Ached to just forget all this craziness in my life for a little while.

My hands moved to his back, pulling at him.

It wasn’t even about wanting at that point. It