Daisy Jones & The Six - Taylor Jenkins Reid Page 0,98

be mesmerized by her? Not fall in love with her?

I couldn’t.

I just couldn’t.

But Camila meant more. That’s just the very deepest truth. My family meant more to me. Camila meant more to me. Maybe, for a little while there, Camila wasn’t the person I was the most drawn to. Or …

…

…

…

Maybe Camila wasn’t the person I was the most in love with. At that time. I don’t know. You can’t … Maybe she wasn’t. But she was always the person I loved the most. She was always the person I would choose.

It is Camila, for me. Always.

Passion is … it’s fire. And fire is great, man. But we’re made of water. Water is how we keep living. Water is what we need to survive. My family was my water. I picked water. I’ll pick water every time. And I wanted Daisy to find her water. Because I couldn’t be it.

Graham: Watching Billy play the piano and look at Daisy, I thought, I hope Camila doesn’t see this.

Billy: You try playing a song like that with a woman like Daisy knowing your wife will see it. You try doing that. And then tell me you’re not about to lose your goddamn mind.

Rod: It was electric, that performance. The two of them, together, performing to each other. It felt like they were ripping their hearts out on national TV. Those moments don’t happen all the time. If you were up late that Saturday night watching them, you felt like you’d witnessed something big.

Karen: When the song was over, the small audience there erupted and Billy and Daisy took their final bow. And the rest of us came out and joined them. And, you know, I did kind of have this feeling, then, that we were big and we were only going to get bigger. It was the first time that I thought, Are we going to be the biggest band in the world?

Warren: We went to the after-party with the whole cast and everybody. Lisa Crowne was the host and I thought, you know, Just play it cool with her and maybe she’ll be into you. And so that’s what I did. And then she was.

Graham: When I looked over, sometime in the early morning, and Warren had his arm around Lisa Crowne, I thought, Shit, we must be really fucking famous. I mean, we’d have to be for Warren to have a chance with Lisa Crowne.

Eddie: Pete and I partied with the SNL band to the point where I couldn’t feel my own nose and Pete puked into a tuba.

Warren: By the time I left with Lisa, I didn’t see Daisy anywhere.

Graham: At some point, we all lost track of Daisy.

Billy: I was polite, and I went to the bar with everybody. But I couldn’t stay long. SNL parties are not where you want to be when you’re sober.

When I got back to my hotel, I got a call from [Camila] and we talked for a little while and there was a lot that we weren’t saying. She had watched the show and I think she was wrestling with how to feel about all of it. We talked around it a long time. And then she said she wanted to go sleep and I said, “Okay,” and then I said, “I love you. You are my ‘Aurora.’ ” And she said she loved me too and hung up the phone.

Camila: No matter who you choose to go down the road with, you’re gonna get hurt. That’s just the nature of caring about someone. No matter who you love, they will break your heart along the way. Billy Dunne has broken my heart a number of times. And I know I’ve broken his. But yes, that night watching them on SNL … that was one of the times that my heart cracked.

But I just kept choosing trust and hope. I believed he was worthy of it.

Daisy: I was sitting in a booth next to Rod at the SNL party and a bunch of girls went into the bathroom to do a line and I was so bored. I was so incredibly bored of my life. Of the speed and coke and the cycle. It was like watching a movie for the hundredth time. You already know when the bad guy’s gonna show up, you already know what the hero will do. It was so boring, the thought of it, that I wanted to die. I wanted real life, for once. Anything real.