could just run up to my room, I knew I must have something that could work in a pinch until I could give her to—
I shut my eyes as the squalling started anew, even more loudly. Who was I supposed to give her to? Her mother obviously couldn’t be trusted. She needed to be safe. And assuming I didn’t kill her through ineptitude, the place she would be safest was with me.
Yet I still ran upstairs to my room under the guise of looking for something to keep her warm. She had on a thin footie pajama set, for God’s sake. Not even a jacket in these frigid temperatures.
I searched the room for anything small but substantial enough to wrap her in. My quilt was gigantic and had been made by my Great-Aunt Erma. It was mostly white. With a baby, I knew that couldn’t be good. Besides, it was too huge for the boat. Maybe I could use one of my jackets.
Then my gaze landed on my flannel pillowcases. I got hot when I slept, so I didn’t go for the sheets, but I liked the plaid. One would work just fine as a baby sack.
I hoped.
I tugged one of the cases off and jogged downstairs to find the kid’s cries had trailed off into whimpers.
Swallowing hard, I rushed to crouch at her side. “Look what I have for you.” Carefully, I lifted her little legs and tried to stuff them into the pillowcase. She was so small that the thing would be big around her, but it had to offer some security, right?
I didn’t have any better ideas, so I was going with this one.
With some effort, I pulled the pillowcase up her body and tucked it under her arms when she didn’t seem to want to be tucked in again. She needed a pillow on the boat seat, so I grabbed the basket of clean folded laundry I’d left on the couch and pulled out a hoodie to fashion into a soft spot for her to rest her head.
She screwed up her tiny face as I slipped the hoodie under her, but she didn’t start screaming so I decided to roll with it.
I took one last glance into the baby basket, hoping somehow a stuffed animal had appeared when I wasn’t looking. Nope. So, we’d have to make do.
Testing my luck, I sprinted back up the stairs, well aware of the whines coming from the bedroom next to my master suite. Sadie would just have to wait a bit longer for liberation. I was actually surprised she hadn’t kicked up more of a fuss yet.
Maybe she knew all her daddy’s sins were coming home to roost.
I couldn’t really look at that semi-sweet baby down there as a sin. Sure, she’d mostly screamed at me, but she’d had a tough night.
My chest twisted. She might’ve had a tough life too so far, and that would probably give me some bad moments tonight when I tried to sleep.
I’d make up for what she’d been through. Somehow. With Gina’s help.
God, where the hell was Gina?
I moved into my room and scratched the back of my neck as I surveyed the rustic space. I wanted her to have something to sleep with. That was what my dad had done with me. He’d given me this ratty bear I still had in my closet.
Duh.
Mr. Bojangles was right there on the top shelf when I opened the door. Spots were worn in his patchy brown fur, and his bow tie was stretched out and dangling, but overall, he was in decent shape. Good enough for a baby to clutch and cuddle.
I hurried back downstairs to find the kid whimpering again. The sound made me grip the bear that much tighter as I kneeled beside the boat.
“Look here—” I frowned.
What was her name? Why hadn’t her mother mentioned that in her note? I needed to know what to call her. What she liked and what was familiar.
Had her mother not even bothered to name her, realizing she wouldn’t have her long?
I shut my eyes and took a deep breath before I forced them open again. I would let myself rage in the privacy of my shower once Gina was here, and I could take a moment away.
God knows I wouldn’t trust anyone else with her tonight but my best friend.
“Look here, sweetheart,” the word sounded creaky to my ears, “I have something for you. He used to be mine, but now he’s for you.