Obviously, I needed sleep. I couldn’t claim I never had errant thoughts like these, but I didn’t make a habit of them more than, well, two or three times a day max. Sometimes I went longer than that. Often, I had whole stretches of days where he was my best friend, period. Times I didn’t even notice how well he filled out his pants—back and front.
Tonight I was setting all new records in his direction, and I nor my screaming hormones appreciated it.
“You don’t owe me anything. But this is just a temporary situation. Both of our lives are too busy to juggle this way for long without bringing in additional help now and then. You need to tell people. Even if you start with just my mom.”
“What is she going to think of me?”
“Shh. Don’t get shouty.”
“I’m not shouty.” He took a deep breath and splashed some warm water on the baby’s thoroughly shampooed head. “I hope.”
“That’s better. Slightly.”
Normally, he was always even-tempered. Not tonight. I couldn’t say I blamed him, but the baby reacted to every modulation of our voices.
Actually, Sadie did more often than not too. The only reason we were having a brief respite from her nosing into what we were doing was because we’d given her a bone to occupy herself after she’d abandoned the new pig. As soon as she got tired of gnawing on it, she’d be all up in our business again.
“Bonnie has old-fashioned values,” he said as he mindlessly added more shampoo to Samantha’s already saturated head. Some trickled down into her eyes, and she let out a cry. He cracked his elbow against the faucet and swore as he struggled to turn on the water at a fuller blast with his sudsy hands.
“Wait, don’t move.”
I didn’t want the baby’s eyes to burn, but I had to get this shot. I tugged my older, smaller style iPhone out of my bra and aimed, managing to get Jared’s surprised expression and Samantha’s full head of bubbles an instant before her warning cry turned into sobs.
Somehow their expressions mirrored each other, and that was one more tug at the chest.
“You’ll thank me later,” I said as I sprung into action to get rid of all the shampoo.
She kept whimpering as I cleaned her up, but when I bundled her into the soft towel I’d dug out of the linen closet for this very purpose, she quieted almost immediately.
“That’s a love. Much better, right? You’re all squeaky clean. Show your daddy those rosy cheeks.” I peeled back the flap of towel that had fallen over her face, and she ducked back, making me laugh. “Are you playing hide and seek?”
She did it again, and I couldn’t stop laughing as I shifted toward Jared.
Only he wasn’t there. The kitchen was empty.
I sighed as I cuddled her close, indulging both of us. “He’ll figure it out,” I murmured against her hair. Now she smelled just like her father. “You’ll see. Once he does, he’ll be the best daddy ever. Don’t you worry.”
I just hoped he’d get there sooner rather than later.
Six
I was celebrating my first half week as a father by buying a Christmas tree. Yes, it was mostly under duress, but I was doing it just the same. And my reward when I got home would be to help decorate it.
Yay.
I supposed it could be worse. I could be watching the kid right now, a task that brought a whole host of concerns and confusion.
Somehow we’d managed to coordinate our work schedules the past half week so that someone was always with the baby. Gina hadn’t made a big deal about it or needed to have some long, awkward discussion. She’d just slapped a whiteboard up on the side of the fridge and added our work schedules so we always had coverage.
The next few weeks were blank so far, but I was certain she’d add her schedule to those days too. Maybe she hadn’t gotten her hours firmed up yet because of the oncoming holidays.
Which was the reason my fingers were stiff and frozen since I’d forgotten my gloves while I was doing my assigned duty.
Gina stood beside the driveway, grinning with an armful of baby.
I pointed at her as I came around the back of the Jeep. “It’s not even Thanksgiving, and you had me tromping around a Christmas tree lot on a Sunday. My one day off, barring any murders or parking with