D A Novel (George Right) - By George Right Page 0,93

its mania for killing. Did you ever think that we live only while we kill? Even the most devoted vegetarians are compelled to kill plants. This world is very fairly arranged, isn't it?"

"Pete, you really don't know what you're going to do next?"

"I already told you that I'm not going to think things out ahead of time. I'm fed up with planning long-term strategies. I don't intend to play by their rules any more. In any case, I have money. Do you want me to give you 1,000 bucks?"

"No."

"My God, I don't consider you a whore! I would be the worst bastard if I treated you like that! I want to give you this money just for nothing, you understand?"

"Pete, I could use the money of course, but I can't accept a gift like that, especially not when you're in this condition."

"In what damned condition? I am as okay as it is possible to be."

"You are NOT okay, Pete. And you know it. You haven't been okay for three days now..."

"Listen, girl, I'm sorry I told you all this. It seemed to me you would understand because your life made you fed up. But if I was mistaken, if you're like all the rest, let's forget our conversation once and for all."

"Pete, to you I am only a little girl, but listen to me. I decided to end my former life to begin a new one; you simply destroyed everything you had in your life and now you're trying to hide from the problem.”

"There is no problem! That's enough about it!"

"There is a problem. Pete, you need help. You don't have a job. The police may want you for hurting your boss. You left your wife. You offended everyone you know..."

"Bettie, shut up, or I'll put you out like that guy!"

"Pete, I'm not saying this to hurt you. I want to help you before you get in more trouble. Really, Pete, it would be easier for me just to shut up, but then it would be even worse for you. Everything can still be fixed... well, almost everything. You need to talk to a doctor..."

"SHUT UP, YOU BITCH! SHUT UP, FUCK YOU!"

He was so angry that he almost swerved the car off the road. Then the rage subsided and Palmer regained control again.

"Bettie, I'm sorry. You're right in some ways. My nerves are really shot. You know, after living 20 years with a hysterical woman... Don't take offense, all right?"

Bettie kept an insulted silence.

"Well, if that's how it is... But I really didn't mean to shout at you."

Silence hung. The motor evenly hummed.

"Let's, maybe, listen to some music," said Pete and turned the radio on.

"... terday," a familiar voice sang. "All my troubles seemed so far away..."

"Good old rock'n'roll," Pete said. "Yes, Johnny, you're right–yesterday my troubles seemed so far away. And the day before yesterday, too. I should have walked out long ago. No, Johnny, the world didn't go bad today. The world always was rotten, only now it's easier to see."

"Why she had to go I don't know–she wouldn't say," sang the radio.

"Some problem," Palmer sneered. "When a chick leaves you, it's nothing. Problems are something more serious. You found that out eventually, huh, Johnny?"

"... love was such an easy game to play..." radio insisted.

"Love amazed you," frowned Pete. "If you had written 'life' instead, it would be a lot more interesting. At first it seems life is an easy game–you just have to obey the rules. And then you understand that you're trapped and winning this game isn't an option at all. If that guy shot you before you understood this, you were lucky, Johnny. That guy also decided not to play by the rules any more. You know, Bettie, I understand those guys who climb up on a roof with a rifle and shoot passers-by until they're killed by the police. I'm not saying that I justify them, or that I'm going to do the same myself–my God, no! But I really understand them..."

The radio began playing "Nowhere man."

He's a real nowhere man

Sitting in his nowhere land

Making all his nowhere plans for nobody

Doesn't have a point of view

Knows not where he's going to

Isn't he a bit like you and me

"Yes," nodded Pete," very much like you and me. Especially me. You're right, Bettie, I really don't know what to do next. It seemed to me that it was enough just to break loose, but now I can't think what to do with my freedom. You see,