Cut & Blow (Cut & Blow #2) - Ashleigh Giannoccaro Page 0,34
this week.
Dad came home late last night, alone, also high as a fucking kite. Years ago that would have been normal, but the family had an intervention with him and he’s been clean since. I wonder if this is what Rain is so worried about. I make a point to leave before him so I can try and catch Rain before church.
I try calling, but he doesn’t answer and on the third try Ailee picks up. I make an excuse and say I’ll see him at the church. She says he’s taking a shower, but I can hear him. I interrupted them. Just the thought makes me feel too dirty for church.
Watching as everyone arrives, I hover on the top step, waiting on either Rain or my uncle to get there. Ailee walks up the steps in front of Rain, and she blushes when she sees me and sneaks past, leaving us to talk.
“He was high last night, like too much coke high. You know, the way he used to get,” I tell my cousin softly, not wanting anyone to overhear us. “You said if something was off to tell you first. Well, he divorced my mother, got some teenaged chick knocked up and came home high. I’d say something is off, Rain.”
“I know. Have you seen the girlfriend yet?” Rain asks.
“Not this one, I don’t think. I’m more concerned about the fact he was high. I can’t go through that again.”
“Don’t worry about it, Rat. You need to move out. Go stay at Vick’s from tonight.”
My uncle comes up the stairs and joins us, his hands in his pockets, his white beard matching Rain’s dark one. “Ciao, boys,” he greets us.
“He’s using again,” Rain says to his father before he walks off, leaving me with my uncle.
“You sure?” the old man asks me under his breath. I simply nod my head as more people are arriving. “We’ll take care of it.”
He takes me by the scruff of the neck and effectively leads me into the old building and to a seat next to him. Sandwiched between the old man and Rain, it’s like they are protecting me from something awful.
I’ve been here before and the pipe organ’s ominous soundtrack only makes my unease worse. My family has always kept me safe, not my father or my mother, but my family. God help my poor new brother or sister. I’m afraid they may not be so accepting and protective, and no child will survive the old man alone.
Whispers start to move like a tidal wave from the back of the church to the front, getting closer and closer.
Ailee looks around first and cracks a smile. Rain is next and a deep frown wrinkles his face. When I turn around to see what has everyone talking, the world stops.
How did I miss it? I never connected the dots or even gave it a thought.
But there it is – his smug smile and happy eyes, her delicate hand with glitter-manicured fingernails holding onto his arm. The slight round of her belly is on display, her long hair framing her face screams ‘save me, I’m afraid’.
Chelsey and my father move in slow motion towards the family, and I am shattering inside. When it hurts too much to look, I turn to the front. I can’t believe I was blinded and didn’t see it. The married boyfriend, his age, the divorce – the timing.
You fucking idiot, Rat.
“I’m sorry, Rat,” Rain whispers, leaning so his shoulder touches mine. “I tried to warn you about her.”
I feel betrayed. I have no reason to, but I still feel cheated and robbed.
“It’s fine. We were just friends. Now I guess I’m going to be her stepson, so it’s fine. Don’t say anything else. Please, for the love of God, don’t say anything. He will fucking kill me.”
“I know.” His whisper is an apology.
They sit right behind us. I can smell her flowery perfume and hear her when she whispers to him. Everything about this is hurting me. That’s my brother inside her, and my father is going to destroy her. I’ve seen what happens when he’s done with a woman. Look at my mother, there was nothing left of her.
Nothing the priest says even registers, I don’t hear a word. It’s only her and him, and what he had to do to her to make her pregnant. Bitter bile rides up and down my throat as I fight the sick feeling. As soon as the benediction is over