Cursive - By Phoebe Lane Page 0,98

from him and the life she had known for twenty years was just too terrifying. She woke up the next day and she couldn't walk anymore.

"Her brain had actually convinced her subconscious that she couldn't walk. It's called Conversion Disorder, and it's very difficult to treat. It can take years of therapy, and medicines don't usually work. "

"That's incredible. And she really didn't see the connection?" he asked, and Aislynn shook her head in response, in turn becoming very quiet and somber.

Why is she telling me all this?

"The mind can do remarkable things," Aislynn said and turned her face to him, her eyes downcast. "I see him sometimes."

"Who?" Jace asked, confused.

"I see Christopher."

"What do you mean, you see him?" he asked, his voice surprisingly steady.

"I'm so afraid you're going to think I've completely lost it," she said, understanding the enormity of what she was putting out there for Jace to deal with.

"Don't be afraid. Just tell me, please," he said, rubbing his hand on her back in a sign of comfort.

"The first time I saw him, I thought it was just my eyes playing tricks on me. I was leaving a restaurant in San Francisco, and I thought I saw him sitting alone at a back table sipping a cup of coffee. I didn't stay long enough to figure out if it was really him or not. I freaked out and left the city the very next day," she said and paused, trying to organize her thoughts. "The next time I saw him was the day I met you."

Jace was silent for a moment, letting out a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Aislynn. I…I really don't know…I don't know what to say," he said. "Are you sick? Is that it?"

"I'm not crazy, if that's what you're asking," she said, feeling embarrassed and ashamed.

"I wasn't trying to—"

"It's okay. It's a fair question," Aislynn interrupted him. Even though she understood where he was coming from, she had to admit it hurt like hell to see doubt in his eyes. "I'm not psychotic. At some level, I've known all along it wasn't really him, that he wasn't real. But it was something that I needed to go through, I guess. It's really hard to explain."

"Can you please try? I really want to understand," he said softly and moved his hand up to her neck. She was happy that he was still touching her, that he wasn't afraid to be close to her even after her revelation.

"I've been sitting here the last hour trying to figure out why this is happening to me. I've come to realize that every single…interaction I've had with Christopher has pretty much been a way for my mind to shove in my face the things I wasn't ready to deal with. I can take every single conversation, every word exchanged between Christopher and me, and see that they weren't things that he would've ever said to me if he was still alive. They were all things I would've told myself if I'd had the strength to deal with them head on. Just like my patient who couldn't walk after seeing her husband with another woman, Christopher was my subconscious' way of showing me how much anger, guilt, and sadness I still feel about what happened."

"You mean guilt about his death?"

"About that, and about moving on with you, about falling in love with somebody else…even about the way I ended things with Pam. It all came back to haunt me."

The irony.

"Now that you're seeing this for what it really is, do you think it'll go away?" he asked, and Aislynn could sense his anticipation. She knew what he wanted to hear, but she had to give him the truth instead.

"I'm hoping it will, but it may take some time. I need to finally start addressing these things. You said it best on the beach earlier today—"

"It's time," they both said at the same time.

Aislynn stared out the window again, the minutes passing and the waiting becoming more and more uncomfortable for her. She wondered what Jace was feeling, what he was planning to do now. She realized this was a huge burden to put on him, and she didn't want to set herself up for disappointment, thinking he would respond one way or the other.

"What are you thinking about?" he whispered after a few more minutes.

"Umm…nothing. Just trying to figure out what the hell I do now."

"I'll be honest with you, Aislynn. This is scary, what's going on with you," he