The Curious Case of the Clockwork Man - By Mark Hodder Page 0,124

form of government is the highest blinkin' form of government, but, because of this, it requires the highest type of human nature - a type nowhere at present existin' in London, that's for bloomin' certain!"

"Stop your blessed chinwagging and look out of the window!" the housekeeper cried.

Trounce raised his eyebrows.

Swinburne sighed, stood, and crossed the room. He stepped past Admiral Lord Nelson, who was standing in his customary position, and peered out of the window. The doorbell jangled.

Mrs. Angell lifted her pinafore and slapped it over her mouth to stifle a squeal.
Chapter Nineteen
"My hat!" the poet exclaimed, staring out at the mighty armoured carriage.

"What shall I do? What shall I do?" the old woman panicked.

"Bed-wetter," Pox the parakeet opined, with a cheery whistle.

"Calm yourself, Mother. Stay here. I'll go," Swinburne answered. He left the room.

Trounce and Spencer stood and brushed down their clothing. Mrs. Angell bustled anxiously around the room, straightening pictures, adjusting ornaments and curios, dusting and fussing at top speed.

"Nelson!" she barked. "Put these gentlemen's glasses away in the bureau and wipe the tabletop, then come here so I can give you a quick polish."

The clockwork man saluted and moved to obey.

"I'm sure that ain't necess - " Spencer began.

"Quiet!" Trounce whispered. "Never interrupt her when there's housework involved! You'll get your head bitten off!"

Multiple footsteps sounded on the stairs. Swinburne entered, followed by Damien Burke and Gregory Hare, who were both back in their usual outlandish and outdated clothes. Palmerston's men each had their left arm in a sling.

They stood aside.

A tall man stepped into the room between them. He was dressed in a dark blue velvet suit with a long black cape draped over his shoulders. A black veil hung from the brim of his top hat, concealing his face completely.

"Your Highness," Mrs. Angell said, lowering herself into a deep curtsy.

"Hardly that, madam," the visitor replied, pulling off his hat and veil. "I am Henry John Temple, the Third Viscount Palmerston."

"Oh! It's only the prime minister!" the housekeeper exclaimed. She clutched at a chair and hauled herself back upright.

"Sorry to disappoint," Palmerston muttered ruefully.

"No!" Mrs. Angell gulped. "I mean - that is to say - ooh er!" She turned a deep shade of red.

"Gentlemen, good lady," Swinburne announced, "some of you have met, some of you haven't, so a quick who's who: this is Mrs. Iris Angell, Sir Richard's esteemed housekeeper; Detective Inspector William Trounce, one of Scotland Yard's finest; Mr. Herbert Spencer, our friendly neighbourhood philosopher; Lord Admiral Nelson, Richard's rather extraordinary valet; and Mr. Damien Burke and Mr. Gregory Hare, agents for the prime minister!"

A loud warble interrupted him: "Cross-eyed nitwits!"

"My apologies - and that is Pox, Sir Richard's newly acquired parakeet."

Palmerston looked disdainfully at the colourful little bird, gazed in awe at the clockwork man, then turned to Swinburne and said: "You sent me a message. You said Captain Burton is out of action. Explain. Where is he?"

"Ah," the poet answered. "You'd better come upstairs, Prime Minister. If the rest of you wouldn't mind waiting here, I'm sure Mrs. Angell will see to it that you're supplied with whatever refreshments take your fancy."

"Of course, sir," the housekeeper simpered, curtseying again in the prime minister's direction. She winced and held her hip.

Swinburne glanced at her and, despite his fatigue, managed a cheeky wink.

He ushered Lord Palmerston from the room and up two flights of stairs to the library. As they approached the door, Palmerston asked: "Is that music I hear?"

"Yes," Swinburne said, laying his fingers on the door handle. "We rescued Richard two days ago. He was practically catatonic and repeated just one thing, over and over: Al-Masloub."

"Which means?"

"We didn't know until we got him home. Mrs. Angell recognised it straightaway as the name of a musician Richard has over from time to time. We summoned the man, who arrived, spent a few minutes looking at our patient, went away again, and returned with two more musicians in tow. Since then, and without a moment's cease, this - "

He pushed open the door.

The library was filled with the swirling melodies and rhythms of an Arabian flute and drums. All the furniture had been shoved against the book-lined walls, and, in the middle of the floor, Sir Richard Francis Burton, dressed in a belted white robe and white pantaloons, his feet bare, and a tall fez upon his head, was spinning deliriously on the spot.

His arms were held out, the forearms poised vertically, the palm of his right hand directed at the ceiling, the palm