Cupcakes and Christmas - R.J. Scott Page 0,52

finished low in all three parts and there was no way they’d send any one of us four home.

We were right. She was the next one to leave, but from the way Ivan gripped her and reassured her he would see her soon, I wondered how long he’d last.

Would that leave me, Clare, and Justin as the last three standing? Who knew.

Justin ran as soon as they gave us the all clear after the sound bites and reminded us we had a day off tomorrow before filming of episode three began the day after, but I couldn’t go after him immediately because I was caught in a hug with Kristen and Ivan. By the time I was out front he’d vanished.

He didn’t make it to dinner or arrive to help me fix Jeremy, and that was why it seemed like the best idea to knock on his door and ask him if he was okay.

What harm could that do?

Chapter Fifteen

I’m sorry for what I said. I was hungry

Justin

The knock on the door I could ignore. I’d been doing it my entire life when I got in this headspace where I didn’t want to see anyone or do anything outside of my apartment. So, this bedroom wasn’t exactly as big as my Waterline apartment with a view of the Hudson, but it was a suite, and it had this cool separate seating space and a second shower room, plus a tiny kitchen that came complete with microwave and a refrigerator. The shower was amazing, and I’d spent half an hour fussing in there, washing my hair, conditioning it, scrubbing every inch of me, and I’d only just taken the towel off my head. Bliss. I felt warm and cozy and more at peace than I had this morning.

The seating area was where I was now, staring out at the snowy garden’s lamplight catching on the icy pond and dark shadows of trees framing the scene. I had my Kindle. I had a cupcake in a mug. I had coffee. I didn’t need people, particularly ones knocking on my door this late at night. Checking my watch, I saw it was only eight p.m. It felt like midnight, the witching hour. The time when most people were asleep, and I was on my own and not likely to have my door knocked on.

“Hey, you in there?”

Brody. He was the last person I wanted to see right now, and not just because of the kissing and the connection, but because I was in my old PJs, my hair a tousled mess. He’d take one look and run.

“I just wanted to uhmmmm… ” He paused, and I waited for him to carry on, only he didn’t, he just knocked again. He wasn’t going to leave, so I rolled off the couch and padded to the doorway, intent on looking through the spy hole and then calling for him to leave. Only I opened the door because it was rude to talk to someone through four inches of wood or whatever these doors were made of, and I caught him with his fist curled and ready to knock again.

“Hey.” He dropped his hand and smiled at me cautiously and then lowered his voice. “I didn’t want to shout this through the door. Are you okay?”

At this point, I had two options, say I was fine and tell him I’d see him the day after tomorrow. Or I could let him into my little sanctuary and make him a mug cake and a coffee.

You need to pull someone into your world. That was what my last therapist had said, and she’d been the only one that’d stuck around for more than the one appointment. Her name was Iris. She was small, elderly, and knew everything. At least, that was the impression she gave me. I kind of needed someone to tell me that they knew what to do because I certainly didn’t. Then there was the kissing, that had been the most intense kissing I’d ever done, and I’d nearly melted into his hold. He wasn’t here swooping me up and bringing roses. He simply looked bewildered and concerned all at the same time.

Was it possible he’d somehow seen the real me?

Was it okay for me to let him into my world, or would he make me pretend everything was fine?

I was staring at him, and after a few moments he nodded then smiled softly. “It’s good to see you’re okay. Night, Justin.” He was nearly