“What? I’ve got to partake of your crumpets as much as possible before they’re off limits to me in a couple months.”
“They’re extra sensitive these days. Be gentle.”
“I can’t control myself, baby—they’re too delicious to resist.” I take her nipple into my mouth and give it a good, strong suck.
Sarah shrieks. “Gah! Go easy, Jonas. They’re sensitive.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah...” But she can’t suppress the bloom rising in her cheeks.
“You mean you want me to take it easy doing... this?” I give her other nipple an even harder suck.
Sarah shrieks again. “Oh my god. Take it easy, for Pete’s sake.” She laughs. “Holy crap, I can’t decide if I love it or hate it.”
“You know you love it.” I sit up and assess her naked body on the bed. “Damn, woman, just looking at you these days gives me an epic boner.”
“These days?”
“Ssh. Play along.”
“Sorry.”
“My dick grew three inches just looking at you right now.” My cock twitches. “Your boobs used to be a handful plus a little extra, and now look at them.” I cup her breasts in my hands and marvel at how they overflow from my palms.
She looks down at her breasts in my hands. “I’m the Latina Anna Nicole Smith.”
“You’re a fucking Botticelli, baby—The Birth of Venus. Are you looking at yourself?”
“Yep, I’m looking. That’s some serious boobage down there.”
“My dick just grew another two inches again. You’re Demeter, baby.” I look down at my straining cock. “Jesus, have you ever seen a boner this big before?”
“Every single day since I met you.”
“No, baby, look more closely. This time it’s different.”
Sarah makes a big show of staring at my cock with mocking, wide eyes.
“This is no ordinary boner. It’s a behemoth—a revelation. The divine original form of boner-ness.”
She laughs. “I thought you weren’t a boob-man.”
“Whatever gave you that idea?”
“Gosh, I dunno. The bite marks on my ass?”
“Mmm. That reminds me. I’m hungry for some albóndigas right now.” I reach around and grab a fistful of her right ass cheek, greedily sinking my fingertips into the sexy tattoo she got for me in Thailand, and she squeals. But when I tilt her body toward me, intending to chomp on her ass tattoo like I always do before I get down to business, she gasps and winces sharply.
I release my grip and pull back from her, my heart instantly racing. “Sarah?”
Her eyes are closed. Her brow is furrowed. She brings her hand to her bulging belly and winces again.
“Did I hurt you?” I sit upright, my heart suddenly pounding in my ears. “Sarah?”
“I’m fine.” But she winces a third time and curls into a ball on the bed.
I leap up from the bed, my breathing shallow. “Sarah, talk to me. Tell me what’s happening.”
For the longest five seconds of my life, she doesn’t say a word. I’m just about to scoop her naked body into my arms and race her to the hospital when she opens her eyes and exhales with relief. “Whew. I’m okay,” she says, her body visibly relaxing. “Oh, man, that was rough.” She looks at me sympathetically. “Aw, you look like you’re gonna pass out. I’m sorry.”
“What happened?”
“Crazy Monkey was just doing Zumba right on a nerve, that’s all.” She shoots me a crooked smile. “The pain took my breath away for a minute. But everything’s fine now—he shifted position.” She pats the bed. “Sit back down, love. Tell me more about your transcendent boner to end all boners.”
I sit down on the bed next to her, exhaling loudly. Jesus. I’m not built for this. My heart is still racing. I run my hands over my face. “Get dressed. I’m taking you to the hospital.”
She laughs. “No, Jonas. I’ll be seeing the doctor for my usual appointment on Tuesday. No worries.”
“Better safe than sorry—”
“I’m fine. It’s just getting jam-packed in there, that’s all. Four arms and legs and elbows and feet and two heads crammed into one belly gets a wee bit crowded.” She grabs my hand and squeezes it. “Nothing to worry about.”
I exhale. “I’m never gonna make it eight more weeks.”
“Hey, maybe only six if the doctor takes ’em out early like she said.”
“Either way, I’m never gonna make it.”
“Put on some music, baby,” she coos. “Calm yourself down.”
I exhale. My baby knows me so well. I reach for my laptop and scroll for a minute. I settle on “Only for the Night” by Rx Bandits. A guy can never go wrong with classic Rx Bandits.