The Crystal City Page 0,2
them robbin' Coz?"
"We didn't know you needed lookin' after," said Arthur Stuart.
Abe looked at him with calculated indignation. "Next time you go to beatin' this boy, Al Smith, would you be so kind as to lay down one extra wallop on my behalf?"
"Get your own half-black adopted brother-in-law to beat," said Alvin.
"Besides," said Arthur Stuart, "you do need lookin' after."
"What makes you think so?"
"Because you still haven't thought about how Coz wasn't the only one distracted by her big fluttery eyes."
Abe slapped at his jacket pocket. For a moment he was relieved to find his wallet still there. But then he realized that Coz's wallet had been there, too. It took only a moment to discover that he and Coz had both been robbed.
"And they had the sass to put the wallets back," said Abe, sounding awestruck.
"Well, don't feel bad," said Arthur Stuart. "It was probably the pickpocket's knack, so what could you do about it?"
Abe sat himself right down on the dock, which was quite an operation, seeing how he was so tall and bony that just getting himself into a sitting position involved nearly knocking three or four people into the water.
"Well, ain't this a grand holiday," said Abe. "Ain't I just the biggest rube you ever saw. First I made a raft that can't be steered, so you had to save me. And then when I sell my cargo and make the money I came for, I let somebody take it away from us first thing."
"So," said Alvin, "let's go eat."
"How?" said Abe. "I haven't got a penny. I haven't even got a return passage."
"Oh, we'll treat you to supper," said Alvin.
"I can't let you do that," said Abe.
"Why not?"
"Because then I'd be in your debt."
"We saved your stupid life on the river, Abe Lincoln," said Alvin. "You're already so far in my debt that you owe me interest on your breath."
Abe thought about that for a moment. "Well, then, I reckon it's in for a penny, in for a pound."
"The American version of that is 'in for a dime, in for a dollar,' " said Arthur Stuart helpfully.
"But my mama's version was the one I said," retorted Abe. "And since I got exactly as many pennies and pounds as I got dimes and dollars, I reckon I can please myself which ones to cuss with."
"You mean that was cussin'?" said Arthur Stuart.
"Inside me there was cussin' so bad it'd make a sailor poke sticks in his own ears to keep from hearin' it," said Abe. "Pennies and pounds was just the part I let out."
All this while, of course, Alvin had been using his doodlebug to go in search of the thieves. First thing was to find Coz, partly because the woman might still be with him, and partly to make sure he hadn't been harmed. Alvin found his heartfire just as he was getting clubbed in the head in a back alley. It wasn't no hard thing to make it so the club didn't do him much harm. Put him down on the ground convincingly enough, so they wouldn't feel no need to give him another lick with it, but Coz'd wake up without so much as a headache.
Meanwhile, though, the woman and the man was strolling off as easy as you please. So Alvin searched them with his doodlebug and found the money fast enough. It was no great difficulty to make the man's pocket and the woman's bag unweave themselves a little, and it wasn't much harder to make the gold coins all slippery. Nor was it so hard to keep them from making a single sound when they hit the wharf. The tricky thing was to keep the coins from slipping through the cracks between the planks and falling into the slack water under the dock.
Arthur Stuart, of course, had enough experience and training now that he was able to follow pretty much what Alvin was doing. That was why he was stringing out the conversation long enough to give Alvin time to get the job done.
In a way, thought Alvin, we're just like that pair of thieves. Arthur Stuart's the stall, keeping Abe busy so he doesn't have a clue what's going on, and I'm the cutpurse and pickpocket. Only difference is, we're sort of unstealing what was already stolen.
"Let's go eat, then," said Arthur Stuart, "instead of talking about eatin'."
"Where shall we go to find food that we can stand to eat?" said Alvin.
"This way, I think," said Arthur Stuart,