Ugh. I’m frustrated and freaked out, and the last thing I need is Hudson’s martyr complex right now.
“Martyr complex?” he almost roars. “Are you kidding me? I’m the only reason you’re not in chains bound for my parents’ dungeon, and I have a martyr complex? Seriously?”
I sigh. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”
“News flash. I’m in your head,” he snaps and paces in front of Jaxon’s bookcase. “I hear everything. Every snarky little thought you have, I know about it. Every fear, I see it. Every random thought is front and center in my brain, so I get that you’re afraid. And I get that you don’t want to trust me because of what everyone else has told you.
“But could you please, for one minute, just listen to me? Just think this through. I swear, I’m trying to help you. I swear, that’s all I’m trying to do, Grace. All I’ve done since I’ve come back is try to help you.”
I want to believe him, I do. So much so that it surprises me. But I’m scared. I’ve made mistakes before, trusted people I shouldn’t. Look at what happened with Lia.
“I’m not Lia,” he tells me. “I never would have asked for this. I never would have even dreamed of putting you through what she did. What happened with her is one of the biggest regrets of my life and if I could take it back, I would—”
“Take what back?” I ask, shocked at how tortured he looks, how remorseful. Usually, those are the last two adjectives I’d ever use for Hudson.
“I made a mistake,” he tells me. “I teased her one day, not long before I died. Told her she’d love me forever. I was joking, just playing around, but…” He shakes his head. “I don’t get to do that, because my power makes it true. I knew better, but I forgot for one second, and all this happened.” He holds his hands out helplessly.
His words make everything inside me sit at attention. Because maybe Lia wasn’t as evil as I thought. Maybe she was just one more victim of power beyond someone’s control. It’s a hard thought to swallow after everything that’s happened, so I file it in my “Shit I Don’t Have Time For Today” folder and promise myself I’ll get back to it when I have more time.
“I’m trying to fix what I can,” he tells me. “I swear, Grace, the last thing I want to do right now is hurt you—or anyone. You just have to trust me. And if you try to kill the beast before the Trial, you’re going to die. If not by it, then by the Trial when you drag your broken ass into the arena.”
I can feel his despair, feel his agitation, and despite everything, I believe him. More, I realize, I’ve believed him for a while now.
“That’s not true,” I tell the group. “We have the four items. We could let Hudson out right now. That would give us two days to recover all our strength and train really hard, so we’ll actually have a chance of not dying.” I nod. “It’s the best option.”
“Over my dead fucking body,” Jaxon replies, ice dripping from every word he bites out.
93
Betrayal Is a
Four-Letter
Word
“Best option for whom exactly?” Flint demands, jaw tight and eyes blazing. “Not for the rest of us, that’s for damn sure.”
“I’m with Flint,” Eden says. “We can’t do that. We can’t let Hudson, with his power of persuasion, out in the world again. We just can’t.”
“I understand that you’re scared—” I start.
“We’re not scared,” Macy says. “We’re practical. We lived through Hudson once, until Jaxon and the rest of the Order finally found a way to bring him down. There’s no way we can risk letting him loose again. No way we can justify risking so many people’s lives just because it’s expedient for us.”
“What about risking our lives?” I ask. “Going against the Unkillable Beast won’t be easy. One of us could die—”
“It’s worth it,” Xavier says quietly, his voice and eyes as serious as I’ve ever seen them.
“Dying is worth it?” I repeat flatly. “Seriously?”
“Do you know how many people he killed?” Mekhi asks. “How many wolves and made vampires died because of Hudson? Because he thought born vampires were the most important species on the planet? His gift of persuasion is just too powerful.”
“That’s not what happened,” Hudson tells me, and there’s an underlying urgency in his