One time, I got carried away. I buried my nose into the side of her neck and inhaled. My right hand cupped her jaw as she leaned into me, the sexual energy grew, and her chest rose and fell in heavy pants. I whispered my lips over her neck, not kissing her, but holding back from devouring her until she was a writhing mess under me.
The key sliding into the doorknob was the only thing that yanked me out of the trance she had put me in. I barely made it to the other end of the couch before my brother walked it. I had to put a pillow over my lap to hide my erection.
It was the closest I had ever come to losing myself in her, and I hadn’t even felt her skin against my lips; not really, not in the way that I really wanted to.
I give Owen one last slap on the arm before I head into the crowd, doing my best to follow the scent of the wildflowers that are slowly seducing me. This time it’s me pushing through the people, uncaring if I make them fall or piss them off.
“Gabriella?” My hand lands on the shoulder of a woman who is the same size as Gabriella with dark hair that flows down her back. When the woman turns around and gives me a scathing look, I take a step back. “I’m sorry. Thought you were someone else.” I back away from her squinty eyes and make my way through the crowd again.
That damn teasing breeze has me going crazy. I’m losing my mind. She has to be here. I spin around, running my hands through my hair, and pull. The crowd of people suffocate me. Where the hell is the smell coming from? Who is the woman wearing the perfume?
Splitting the crowd again, I turn every head that has long dark hair. Blue eyes, green eyes, hazel eyes, gray eyes, no brown eyes stare back at me. It’s useless. She isn’t here. Owen was right. Millions of women in the world wear that perfume. The chances of her being here are slim to none.
When will I realize that I need to give up? That I’ll never see her again?
Never.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see something blowing in the air. When I turn, I see the briefest hint of a lavender dress and the scent of wildflowers hits me again. I walk in the direction of the woman in purple and maneuver my way between vendors and turn right, following the green grass and the succulent smell of wildflower.
The grass crunches under my boot and my hands trail along the rough stucco of the building next to me.
“Like to try a free sample of peppered beef jerky?” a man asks as he holds a paper plate out, a big smile taking over his chubby face.
“Later. I’m looking for someone.” I give him a reassuring smile that I’ll be back. I feel bad for not taking what he offered, but what I’m searching for is more important.
The searched seems pointless. I’m going around and around in circles, passing the same people, hearing the same conversations, and smelling the same fragrance that takes me back to when my life felt more complete than it ever has.
“Fuck!” I rub my eyes with the palm of my hands and a hand lands on my shoulder, turning me around. It’s Owen.
“Anything?” he asks, a gentle expression on his face. He must see how much not finding her is bothering me.
“I thought … I thought maybe for a split second…” I breathe in and shut my eyes, letting the truth settle over me like a wet, heavy blanket. She is gone. Gabriella isn’t here. I need to stop living in a fantasy land and come to the realization that I won’t get to live life with her. “Just forget it, man. Let’s go.”
“I’m sorry, Sebastian.”
It means a lot that he cares enough to apologize. He isn’t the kind to care.
I smell it again, that damn wildflower scent, sending passion and hatred through my veins at the same time. “What the fuck! Get me out of here, Owen.” I feel surrounded by her, drowned and unable to reach her. It’s more torture. I can’t do it anymore. I have to let this go at some point because it’s draining me, killing me fucking slowly.
And then the crowd parts, like the sea in anger, swirling