And oh, god, the sweet thrill that runs through my body. He’s furious with me, I know he’s going to be rough, yet I’m so turned on I’m almost vibrating.
He breaks the kiss, rolls me onto my belly, shoves my dress up to my waist, and yanks my panties down. I hear him tear open the fly of his jeans. Then he pins my wrists over my head again, using only one of his hands.
He thrusts inside me with no preliminaries, without seeing if I’m ready, without uttering another word.
I cry out, arching.
“Aye,” he rasps. “That’s what you want, isn’t it? That’s all you want from me. And you’re gonna get it, thief.” His voice drops dangerously low. “You’re gonna get it all.”
He grabs my hip, holds me down, and starts to fuck me. As he does, he speaks to me in Irish through gritted teeth.
These don’t sound like love words. It’s a torrent of harsh fricatives, grunts, and growls, like an animal’s language. Like one long, complicated curse. He thrusts into me, over and over, his hand gripped tight around my wrists, his breath coming in rough pants.
I come so hard I start sobbing.
He instantly freezes. Releasing my wrists, he leans down over me, planting his elbows on either side of my head.
Sounding anguished, he whispers, “Oh god. Oh fuck. I’m so sorry. I’ve hurt you.”
“N-no. You didn’t. Please don’t stop.”
He brushes my hair off my face and tenderly kisses my cheek. His breathing is hard and irregular. “Promise me I didn’t hurt you. I couldn’t stand it if I did.”
“I promise. I swear.”
“You would tell me?”
“Yes.”
“This isn’t—you’re not afraid right now? You’re not just trying to placate me?”
I roll my hips, softly moaning. “Killian. I adore it. You feel amazing.”
He whispers, “Then why are you crying, love?”
Love. Oh, how that hurts. It hurts like a sword shoved straight through my heart.
I squeeze my eyes shut and turn my face to the sheets. My voice strangled, I say, “You know why.”
He’s still except for his ragged breathing. Buried deep inside me, his cock throbs, but he ignores it. He kisses my cheek again, nuzzles his nose into my hair.
Then he slides out of me, rolls me over to my back, and pushes into me again, framing my face in his hands. His eyes blazing with emotion, he whispers, “No. Tell me.”
That look in his eyes is overwhelming. That need. That desperate longing. I turn my head, sucking in a hitching breath.
He kisses my neck, my jaw, my temple. He tangles his fingers into my hair. He presses deeper into me, watching my face like his life depends on it.
I wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his back and close my eyes.
“Tell me,” he says next to my ear.
I roll my hips and stay silent. I know if I opened my mouth, all that would come out are more sobs.
“Tell me it’s because you know you won’t be able to go back to who you were before we met,” he whispers. “Like I won’t.”
“Killian—”
“Tell me it’s because you want me the same way I want you, even though it doesn’t make sense. Even though it’s impossible.”
I can’t catch my breath. He’s inside me, all over me, his weight and his heat and his intensity, and I’m exposed in every way underneath him. I’m nothing but a beating heart and a naked bundle of raw nerves.
He says gently, “Tell me it’s because you know nothing else could ever be as good as this.”
I beg, “Please don’t be sweet. I don’t have any defenses against you when you’re sweet.”
He bends his head to my breasts and nuzzles them, licking my hard nipples, gently testing them with his teeth.
Delirious with pleasure, I moan and arch into his mouth.
He starts a slow, steady motion of his hips, thrusting deep but gently. Greedy for him, I slide my hands underneath his T-shirt and up his back, loving the feel of his muscles as they work. Loving the smoothness and warmth of his skin.
He goes back and forth between my breasts, sucking and licking, cupping them in his huge hands as he flexes his hips. I’m panting. Sweating. Trying desperately not to crumble.
When I’m writhing and shaking, on the edge of another orgasm, he puts his hand around my throat and presses his thumb against my jugular vein.
Then he fucks me harder.
I gasp his name.
He lifts his head from my breasts and puts his mouth next to my ear.