A Crown Of Shadows And Secrets - Sloane Murphy Page 0,2

even a little useful. I then spent the rest of the day going through my journals that I could find in the library, but as yet, I’ve learned nothing new. I’ve only found journals of my past lives, and while I’ve learned some things about myself, things I hadn’t remembered yet, I’ve not come across anything as far back as Amantara.

I let out a breath and cradle my head in my hands. There is so much going on that I’ve barely had time to focus on the fact that I was an Angel.

A freaking Angel.

And not just any Angel, Levi’s right hand. It explains a lot I guess. If I was that close to the Archangel of War, then my fighting skills probably carry over in some memory. What I can’t wrap my head around is that after he transferred my soul, or essence, or whatever, into a Hunter, it took so long for me to be reborn as Remy.

Maybe that was my punishment for Levi’s actions. For cheating the system. I guess not having those memories is part of that too. I’m pretty sure that in my first life as a Hunter I didn’t know about Amantara, but then, in a first life they don’t do an awakening, so maybe that’s why.

My head hurts thinking about it all, and guilt makes me nauseous for focusing on myself rather than figuring out a way to get Fallon back. Though the two are intertwined, I can’t help but feel selfish. God only knows what’s happening to her down there.

I guess, in human terms, Avalon would be our Heaven, and the Shadow Realm our version of Hell. Except, I’ve never really thought about either place, because being reborn means I don’t have to factor those places in until I choose the final death.

But considering everything, would I even get the choice to go to Avalon? Since I already died as an Angel once?

Oh my god. Focus Remy.

I pick up the journals again, flicking through the hundreds of leather-bound pages, looking for anything that points back to a time that far back, if there even was such a thing then.

“You look stressed,” Levi’s voice makes me jump and I twist in my chair to see him striding across the library to me. “How are you holding up?”

“I’ve been better, I just wish there was more I could do.” I tilt my head up and he leans in and kisses me softly. He pulls back and leans against the giant oak table crossing his arms. “Any luck your end?”

“I’ve asked the question, now I just have to wait and see if they’ll help.” He shrugs, but I can tell he’s not as nonchalant as he seems. “What are you in here looking for?”

“I was trying to see if any of my journals went as far back as Amantara. To see if she had any wisdom on the Shadow Realm, since she could skip between the realms with such ease.” His eyes go wide at my words, but he recovers quickly.

“It is strange, to hear that name said so casually again, and so strange to hear you speak of her as a separate person, but at the same time I understand it. You have no memories of that time, and I’m not completely sure that in restoring your memories that you would get those ones back anyway.”

“I get it. I saw how weak those Hunters got after they got their memories back anyway, we don’t have time for me to be that weak for that long right now.” I smile at him, letting him know I understand.

“Yes, I didn’t realize just how weak it would make them. Luckily, we’ve not had any threats to the Hunters as yet, though I imagine we could make do without their numbers for the next few weeks while they regain their strength.” He runs a hand through his hair, messing it up, but it looks good. He always looks good.

“It can’t be helped. I wonder if the others are back yet.” I stand and stretch, having been curved over these journals for way too many hours.

“Creek’s not, but the other two are, it’s why I came to find you. Everly has prepared dinner, and insisted you come and eat since you haven’t eaten yet today.”

“Fine, I’m coming.” I let out a small sigh, I hate feeling so useless, especially when there’s so much to do.

I let him lead me through the house, our fingers intertwined, to the kitchen, where