Crowed (Team Zero #2) - Rina Kent Page 0,54

you want to go back to France,” Ghost says as if he’s reading my mind – again. “But it’s not safe now. He’s Hades after all and will always have loyal demons like Storm. Our mates are locked up, too, and they’re on Omega, Crow.”

“I will wait.” But I know that the time to go back to Eloise isn’t far away.

At least I fucking hope not.

Because I can’t stay away from her anymore.

Eloise

Two gunshots slice through the can dangling from the tree. The loud sound echoes in the forest, but no one except for me hears it.

Actually, whoever’s hiding on the hill and who’s been watching me for more than four months might.

Charlotte barks, her tail wiggling left and right. I pat her head and kiss her on the nose.

I place my handgun and the magazine in the leather briefcase and close it. I’ve made a decent practice space here. A little table from a tree trunk – brought down by lightning – and some dangling cans from the branches.

Shooting is a good sport. I feel safer and more reliant on myself instead of other people’s protection.

I started taking lessons at the shooting range as soon as I found out about my pregnancy. I know that Ghost – or whoever he sent – is out there. I don’t catch glimpses of them, but I can sense them watching. It’s reassuring to know they’re there. However, I won’t sit back waiting for danger to come to me and my baby.

Since I’m part of a shooting range, I get to own a handgun. I practise on my own at the hill overlooking the cliff. But like every time, whenever I finish, a dark halo looms over my head.

I stand on the cliff’s edge and stare at the sparkling water below. It’s unfair how much it’s still beautiful even after swallowing Crow.

Sometimes, I block that day from memory and just recall when he brought me here on the back of his scary motorcycle. I never opened up to anyone as much as I did to him. Not even with my shrink. And it was so easy, like I was always meant to do that.

Those memories, the good ones, the ones where he showed me what I could be, are my encouragement during my dark days. When it gets too hard, I just close my eyes and remember his words.

But other times, as I stare at the rocks with the waves crashing onto them, I only replay that horrifying moment when he threw himself over the edge.

When he was gone forever.

All I have left is memories, haunting me, filling me with regrets and what-ifs. The thought that life goes on without him deepens the hollowness inside me. There’s an emptiness, a shard of nothingness that will always stay with me.

Even if no one else remembers him, I will. Everything about him is engraved in me.

I place a hand on my stomach. There is a bump, a glimmer of a miracle, growing inside me. Although Crow left, a part of him will always exist. This baby is my reason to live. My reason to fight on.

My baby and I deserve to live.

I wish Crow were here. No idea if he would’ve made a good father, but I’m sure he would’ve loved and protected us. Because that’s exactly what he did with me.

My lips tremble and my legs shake. Unable to remain standing, I crouch, hiding my face in my palms. Silent coping doesn’t work sometimes.

I’ve been focusing on becoming a mother and trying to forget all the heartache from four months ago. But sometimes, like now, I can’t keep the tears at bay. I can’t pretend I’m completely all right.

My shrink – that I’ve been visiting regularly – calls my shooting sessions a coping mechanism, but she doesn’t know the whole story. I’ve been shooting not to forget about Crow, but to pretend to be him. To be able to protect myself and our baby like he would have protected us.

I’m no longer the woman who welcomes death with open arms. I became someone who will fight death until the last breath I have.

*****

On my way back, Charlotte keeps barking and wiggling her tail. She comes to a screeching halt when an orange fur ball saunters out of the house.

I guess she would never get used to him, especially since he’s a bit of a bastard.

“Hey, Orange,” I greet him.

The cat doesn’t even acknowledge my existence and continues sauntering away.

As I said – a bastard.

But