Fergus.’ Lachlan tried slapping the man’s cheeks; his heavy jowls wobbled like jellies.
‘Hhnn...’
‘Wake up,’ Lachlan said, slapping Fergus’s cheeks again, harder. ‘Wake up,’ he said quietly. ‘Ye upper class cunt ye.’ He fairly walloped Ferg on one chop.
Fergus awoke suddenly; arms waving about, eyes wild and bright, making no sound other than a faint gurgling noise. Then he rolled off the seat into the footwell and immediately started snoring again.
‘Any luck with the sleeping beauty?’ Fiona said, coming down the steps alongside a slim, blonde-haired girl who was zipping up an anorak.
Lachlan turned round. ‘Na; be’s sound.’
‘That’ll be the day,’ muttered Fiona. She glanced in at Fergus, then turned to the girl. ‘Thanks, Leanne, dear; now drive carefully, won’t you?’
‘Aye, Mrs Urvill,’ the girl said, taking out some keys and heading for the mini. ‘Night-night.’
‘Bye now.’
Fiona and Lachy took an end of Fergus each; Lachy held him under the shoulders, Fiona by the ankles. They struggled up the steps, through the entrance hall, rested in the main hall, then took him up to the first floor.
‘In here,’ Fiona said, nodding.
Lachy supported Fergus’s shoulders with one knee while he twisted the handle of a darkly-stained wooden door. It swung open to darkness.
‘There’s a light, aye?’
‘Just there; down a bit.’
The room was small and bright; there was a single bed, a dressing table and chair, and a wardrobe. There was a print of a hunting scene on one wall, opposite a small window.
‘Guest room’s good enough for him tonight,’ Fiona grunted as they swung him onto the bed and dropped him.
‘Shooch!’ Fiona said, collapsing onto the floor. Lachy sat down on the pillow at the head of the bed, breathing hard. Fiona wiped her brow. She got up shakily.
‘That was hard work,’ she said. She pulled Fergus’s shoes off and nodded to the door. ‘Come on; let’s break into the old bugger’s best malt before we run you back. You deserve it.’
‘Ugh. Certainly not,’ Fiona said. She drew back a little against the door to let Lachy go past her into the hallway. ‘He’s lucky we didn’t leave him in the car.’ She turned out the light.
Fergus woke in utter darkness, wondering where he was; he felt as though he was falling backwards forever into darkness. For an instant he thought perhaps he was dead, consigned to perdition and gloom until the end of time, his only sensation that of falling back and back and back, head over heels forever. He heard himself moan, and felt with his hands: bedclothes. He was still wearing his own clothes, too. Here was his shirt on his wrist; there his trousers, sweater... shoes off. He flexed his feet, feeling his toes in his socks. His hands found the sides of the bed; it was a single, then.
It was still totally dark. He tried to remember where he’d been last.
The party; Hamish and Antonia McHoan’s. Of course. He must still be there, as this wasn’t his own bed. Put to bed. Bit bad, that; probably in the dog-house as far as the lady wife was concerned, too, but then what was new?
He put one hand out, feeling for a table; he found what felt like one, and then a long cold metal stem. Reaching up, he felt a switch.
The light clicked on and suddenly everything was white and horribly bright. He shielded his eyes. God, his head felt fuzzy, and sore. He needed a drink very badly; water would do.
He looked round the white-painted room, thinking that it looked somehow familiar. Perhaps he had slept here before. Or maybe he’d given the McHoans some bits and pieces of furniture.
He listened but couldn’t hear anything. The door of the room looked familiar, too. Odd to find a door so comforting, somehow.
He got up, wobbled across to the door. He was quite cold. He opened the door; a dark hall. Funny; the place didn’t smell like the McHoans’ house did. It smelled of wood and a sort of quite pleasant mustiness. This place smelled of stone and polish. Bit like the castle.
He went out into the hallway, felt along the wall for a light switch; he found one, switched it on. Stairs led up; the wood-panelled hall led to another set of stairs going down. There were old paintings on the walls. He felt very dizzy, and sat down on the bottom step of the stairs. He was home. This was the castle.