Crossroads (Beautiful Biker MC Romance Series) - DD Prince Page 0,77
all of them. I’m done worrying about shit unless it’s shit that makes us happy.”
“Us?” He raised an eyebrow. “Who’s us? The club? You think the club would be happy about this?”
He said ‘this’ like him and I together was disgusting.
“Us,” I said, gesturing between us. “You ‘n me.”
“And you think happy is with me?” He laughed.
I clicked my seatbelt off and climbed onto his lap. It was a tight fit, but I got right in his face, grabbing his jaw with my hands and reaching down to recline the seat more to give us extra room.
His laughter died and he swallowed as I stared directly into his eyes. Deep. There was something between us then and there. Something profound. I knew it down to my soul. He knew it, too.
“It’s gonna be,” I said with certainty.
He twitched. His eyes looked pained. Tortured.
“I gave you something that made me happy and I also gave it to you to make you happy because it was what I want.”
“Me?” He looked at me like I was insane. “You want to make me happy?”
“You asked for something that was important to you and I wound up giving you something that was important to me. Because I wanted you to have it.”
“This can’t happen, baby.”
“It already did.”
“It was supposed to be five minutes of pretend.”
“It was never ever gonna be that,” I said. “That back there? It was a moment of honesty, not insanity. And it was everything.”
He punched the dashboard. “Off me. I gotta drive you home.”
He glared into my eyes.
God, it hurt. The look in his eyes. The pain.
“Christian?”
He shook his head and chewed his cheek.
“Thank you for saving me from those assholes. Again. I want you. I’ve wanted you since I saw you. I just knew. Something about you. I just fucking knew. And you just told me you felt the same, wanted me from the minute you saw me.”
He swallowed and looked out the window.
I put my lips to his ear.
“It was beautiful back there, Christian, because it was you. I didn’t think about the dirt, the blood, or anything but the fact that it was you and I knew from the minute I saw you in Ella’s kitchen I wanted you. And after you joined our club? The things you did to make things right? I knew even more that you were the man for me.”
He put his hand over his forehead, shielding his eyes.
I stayed there on his lap and kept talking. “When you pulled that fire alarm, I was devastated. I mean, what a way to get rid of me. It hurt so fucking much. But now I know. I know you did that because you had to do something big, something huge to stop yourself from letting yourself be with me because you were so close to saying fuck it and letting yourself have what you wanted. That was self-sabotage.”
I ran a hand up and down his chest.
“I can’t be with you,” he told me, not looking at me.
My heart twinged painfully.
“If you don’t heal the thing that hurt you, you might bleed on the people that didn’t do the cutting. I’ve experienced hurt and I did want to lash out. I can see you’ve lived in a state of hurt for a long time. Yet, you did what was right. You helped stop the cycle of bad things that your father and his band of bandits were doing to hurt other people, innocent people. I was interested in you when I saw the way you looked, the way you walked, the way you took up space, the way you did not give one fuck about what anyone thought. But when you turned things on their head and helped end the war this club had, helped save lives of people they wanted to hurt, defected and became one of us because you wanted to be part of something you could believe in? That’s when I knew I’d found the man who was for me. The one who wouldn’t be afraid to stand up and say, “She’s mine”. The one who would fit with our group but not because he was trying to kiss ass, because he wanted in and found his way --- no earned his way in.”
A car went by. The first car since we’d pulled over. He straightened up.
“I can’t. I can’t do this. Off me, Jojo. Let me drive you home.”
“Chr---”
He slammed his hand against the dashboard and pleaded, “Please get the fuck