Crooked Kingdom (The Six of Crows Duology #2) - Leigh Bardugo Page 0,45

into some trouble,” admitted Jesper.

“A man died.”

“Men die all the time in Ketterdam. Just stay alert. She may need backup.”

Jesper darted through the door, and Matthias released a growl of frustration. He hurried to catch up to Nina, turning Jesper’s warning over in his mind, but said nothing as she stepped into the boat and he launched them into the canal.

The smartest thing he’d done since they’d returned from the Ice Court was to give Kaz the remaining parem . It hadn’t been an easy decision. He was never sure how deep the well inside Kaz was, where to locate the limits of what he would or would not do. But Nina had no hold on Kaz, and when she’d crept into Matthias’ bed the night of the Smeet job, he’d been certain he’d made the right choice because, Djel knew, Matthias had been ready to give her anything she wanted if she would just keep kissing him.

She’d woken him from the dream that had been plaguing him since the Ice Court. One moment he had been wandering in the cold, blind from the snow, wolves howling in the distance, and in the next, he’d been awake, Nina beside him, all warmth and softness. He thought again of what she’d said to him on the ship, when she’d been in the worst grips of the parem. Can you even think for yourself? I’m just another cause for you to follow. First it was Jarl Brum, and now it’s me. I don’t want your cursed oath.

He didn’t think she had meant it, but the words haunted him. As a drüskelle , he’d served a corrupt cause. He could see that now. But he’d had a path, a nation. He’d known who he was and what the world would ask of him. Now he was sure of nothing but his faith in Djel and the vow he’d made to Nina. I have been made to protect you. Only in death will I be kept from this oath. Had he simply substituted one cause for another? Was he taking shelter in his feelings for Nina because he was afraid of choosing a future for himself?

Matthias put his mind to rowing. Their fates would not be settled this night, and they had much to do before dawn came. Besides, he liked the rhythm of the canals at night, the streetlamps reflected off the water, the silence, the feeling of passing unseen through the sleeping world, glimpsing a light in a window, someone rising restless from his bed to close a curtain or look out at the city. They tried to come and go from Black Veil as little as possible during the day, so this was the way he’d gotten to know Ketterdam. One night he’d glimpsed a woman in a bejeweled evening gown at her dressing table, unpinning her hair. A man—her husband, Matthias assumed—had stepped behind her and taken over the task, and she’d turned her face up to him and smiled. Matthias couldn’t name the ache he felt in that moment. He was a soldier. So was Nina. They weren’t meant for such domestic scenes. But he’d envied those people and their ease. Their comfortable home, their comfort with each other.

He knew he asked Nina too often, but as they disembarked near East Stave, Matthias couldn’t stop himself from saying, “How do you feel?”

“Quite well,” she said dismissively, adjusting her veil. She was dressed in the glittering blue finery of the Lost Bride, the same costume she’d been wearing the night she and the other members of the Dregs had appeared in his cell. “Tell me, drüskelle , have you ever actually been to this part of the Barrel?”

“I didn’t have much opportunity for sightseeing while I was in Hellgate,” Matthias said. “And I wouldn’t have come here anyway.”

“Of course not. This many people having fun in one place might have shocked the Fjerdan right out of you.”

“Nina,” Matthias said quietly as they made their way to the furrier. He didn’t want to push, but he needed to know. “When we went after Smeet, you used a wig and cosmetics. Why didn’t you tailor yourself?”

She shrugged. “It was easier and faster.”

Matthias was silent, unsure of whether to press her further.

They passed a cheese shop, and Nina sighed. “How can I walk by a window full of wheels of cheese and feel nothing? I don’t even know myself anymore.” She paused, then said, “I tried to tailor myself. Something feels off. Different.