“I’m sorry, Peter,” Tiff started. “It was so very sudden. Your father… he’s gone, Peter. He passed away during his afternoon nap today.”
My head spun. “How long ago?”
“About fifteen minutes.”
My dad had been dead for fifteen minutes and I’d been sitting here eating pizza.
Tiff was still talking to me but I didn’t hear a word she said. Her voice was just muffled chatter.
I forced myself to speak. “Thank you for calling, Tiff. I have to go. I’ll… I’ll call you tomorrow and get more information.”
“Okay, Peter. I’ll be here. Again, I’m so sorry.”
I hung up the phone.
Katie stood up. There was pizza sauce on her chin and her right cheek was full of food like a chipmunk. She reached for me. “Peter, oh God. Come here.”
I stepped into her open arms. She wrapped me up and squeezed me tight and the grief I thought should have come sat heavy in my chest like a stone.
Chapter 34
Katie
I didn’t know what to say or do. I knew nothing would take the pain away that he was feeling and the best I could do for him was just be here.
So I hugged him tightly and made sure he could feel me as I struggled to chew and swallow without making too much noise. I wiped my chin and cheeks and lips and rubbed his back after.
“I’m glad I got to meet him,” I whispered.
Peter nodded into my shoulder.
“And I think he was glad he got to meet me, too,” I continued.
Peter nodded again.
My throat tightened and I willed myself not to cry. That wouldn’t help things at all. Peter needed me to be the strong one right now.
I thought about how vibrant and alive Mr. Stenley had seemed to me even though he looked weary and withered. We’d gotten so lucky that we saw him when we did. He was himself, and part of me wondered if he’d been holding out for a day like that before he let go. I always believed in that kind of thing. I believed people knew when it was their time to go, and sometimes, they held on for as long as they could in order to say proper goodbyes to those they loved the most. Sometimes, they couldn’t, but it sure seemed like that was what Mr. Stenley had done. He wanted one more dinner with his sons. One more moment. One more good laugh.
One more steak. I smiled as a tear fell free.
Peter pulled away. I searched his face, looking for tears I could not find, and cupped his cheek.
“What can I do?” I asked.
“Nothing. This is all so unexpected. I mean I knew it was coming but I still thought there was time.”
Maybe it was better that the waiting was over. Maybe this closure would help Peter come to terms with how his father’s life ended. I didn’t say any of this aloud. It seemed insensitive and I didn’t want to make things worse.
“I thought you had time too.” I bit my bottom lip. “Do you think you should call your brother?”
“Shit.”
“I can call him if you want.”
Peter pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. “No, I should do it. Just give me a minute, okay?”
I nodded. “I’ll wait inside.”
He let me go.
I stepped into the house and sat down on the edge of the sofa, where I leaned forward and cried soundlessly into my hands as I thought about what Peter had to do outside. Calling his brother and giving him the news would probably be harder than hearing it himself.
I ached for the pair of them. Losing a parent was hard. Losing them after years of their struggle with a disease nobody could cure was worse.
At least they all had a proper goodbye and a good memory to close the door on. I hoped both Peter and Mike realized that in the coming weeks or months when time took the sharpness of some of the pain away.
Peter stayed outside for about ten minutes. I could hear his muffled voice as he talked to his brother, but I couldn’t make out what he said. I waited with my stomach in knots for him to come inside, and when he did, his face was streaked with tears, and the composure he’d held together in front of me crumbled.
I went to him, took his hand, and led him to the bedroom, where we lay on the bed and I curled up against him and held on to him like I would