“We are,” I said. I didn’t need to think about it. Not even for a second. I liked her a lot, and I definitely liked where this was going, too. I could see Katie in my life easily, and it was almost like she’d always belonged there or like someone had written her into my future and all I had to do was keep turning the pages.
“I need to ask you some questions then,” she said.
“Shoot.”
“What do you want for your future? Where do you see yourself in five years?”
“Oh, you mean you wanted to ask serious questions? Okay, let me put my serious face on.” I erased my smile, forced my eyebrows together, and scowled. “Is this better?”
She laughed and shook her head at me. “I mean it, Peter. When you think of your life five years from now, what does it look like?”
I considered her question. “Honestly? I haven’t given it all that much thought. I think I’ve been so preoccupied taking care of my dad and trying to pull my brother’s head out of his ass that I haven’t stopped to think about what I want.”
“Do you want a family?”
I nodded. “Sure. I suppose I always figured that step would happen eventually.”
“So you want children of your own?”
“Yeah, I guess so, but I’m not in a hurry.”
“Biological children?” she pressed.
I frowned. What was with all these questions about kids? Did she want to start popping them out in the next few months or something? We were doing well, but that seemed extreme even to me.
“Sure,” I said. “I mean, I hadn’t thought too seriously about it or what other options there are but I guess so.”
Katie nodded.
Then, much to my horror, she sniffled, put her drink down on the ground, and hid her face in her hands as she started to cry.
My eyes widened and I stared at her. What had I done?
“Please don’t cry,” I said weakly, turning her to face me. “What did I do? Whatever I said, I didn’t mean it. I’m an idiot, Katie. Please stop crying.”
“It’s not you,” she whispered.
“What then?”
She cried harder. Her shoulders shook and she sucked in great gulps of air.
My heart started weeping. I pulled her hands away from her face and looked past the tears and mascara tracks. “Katie, whatever this is, you can tell me.”
She shook her head. “It’s hard to say out loud.”
“Take your time.”
She took a few deep, steadying breaths. Once she’d collected herself, she finally managed to look me in the eyes. Her chin trembled but she kept her composure as the words fell from her lips. “Peter, I can’t have children of my own. I’m infertile.”
My weeping heart shriveled up in my chest and it hurt to take a breath. “Katie, I’m—”
“Please don’t say you’re sorry. Everyone says they’re sorry and it doesn’t make me feel better.”
“Okay,” I said slowly. “I’m not sorry.”
A small smile tugged at her lips and she let out a bitter laugh. “I didn’t mean to get so emotional on you. But this is hard for me to talk about. I just needed you to know now so that you didn’t waste any more time on someone who couldn’t give you the family you deserve. I should have done this before we left the island to save the awkwardness of the flight home.”
“What are you talking about?”
She searched my eyes. “We should break this off right now, Peter. Before either of us get any more invested. I would hate for you to sacrifice something so important for me.”
I shook my head, wiped the tears from her cheeks, and pressed my forehead to hers. “Hush, sweet girl. You don’t get to make that decision for me.”
Chapter 30
Katie
Peter’s hands were warm on my cheeks. We took a deep breath together and I closed my eyes. More tears escaped and rolled down my cheeks, but they got caught against his fingers. His forehead remained pressed to mine. I wasn’t sure how long we sat on the bench like that, a cool breeze blowing through the open veranda, but as he held my face in his hands, I was quite sure I never wanted the moment to end.
He held me like he believed I was whole, even though I’d felt broken and hollow for so long. Purposeless. Like a well without water or a beach without sand. The cavern in my heart had been growing deeper and darker over the years and this was the first