Crazy Stupid Bromance (Bromance Book Club #3) - Lyssa Kay Adams Page 0,61
showering.” He whipped his shirt over his head.
“Wait,” Colton breathed. “Shit. Are we supposed to be naked?”
“I . . . I don’t know,” Noah said. “I think so.”
“Like, bare-ass naked?”
“Wait,” Gavin said. “Thea gets massages a lot. Let me text her.”
The guys all waited as Gavin hammered out a text to his wife. A moment passed before he looked up. “She sent a laughing face emoji.”
“Does that mean of course you’re supposed to shower, dumbass, or . . .”
“I don’t know.” Gavin texted again, and, again, they waited for a response. He looked up. “She said no to a shower, unless you’re stinky.”
The Russian stuck out his bottom lip and grabbed a towel. “I will shower.”
“What about the naked part?”
Gavin texted the question. Then, “She said you can leave your underwear on if you want but most people get naked.”
Colton winced. “I sort of feel like the Russian shouldn’t be naked.”
Del looked panicked. “So we, like, just lie there with our balls in the wind?”
“I think they’ll put a blanket over us,” Noah said.
Now Gavin looked panicked. “What if we fart?”
Noah swallowed hard. “Does that happen?”
“She’s gonna be pushing on things,” Gavin said. “It could shake something loose.”
Del snorted. “That’s stupid. Do you accidentally fart during sex?”
There was a mixed chorus of nos and at least two yeses.
“Who the fuck said yes?” Mack demanded.
No one owned up to it.
“Oh shit,” Colton breathed.
They swiveled to look at him. He’d paled three shades.
“What?” Noah demanded.
He gulped. “What if we get wood?”
The silence in the room was tense and heavy.
“Does—” Noah swallowed. “Does that happen?”
Colton made an Are you kidding? face. “We’re going to be naked, and a woman is going to be touching us.”
“But it’s not that kind of touching.”
“Tell that to your dick,” Colton said.
Gavin hugged his torso. “I’d rather fart.”
“This is a mistake,” Del said. “Maybe we should be getting pedicures.”
“It’s too late now!” Mack said.
The Russian emerged from the shower with a towel twined atop his head. His robe was at least three sizes too small and barely covered him in front. One misstep, and they’d all be getting an eyeful of his balls.
He sniffed his arm. “I smell like flowers.”
“We’re going to be late,” Mack groaned. “Just get changed.”
Everyone began to shed their clothes and stuff them in their lockers. Noah debated a full five seconds before pulling his boxer briefs off. Fuck it. He was going full Monty. He donned the robe, tied it around his waist, and followed the guys into the lounge. The Russian made a beeline for the refreshments table. He grabbed two cucumbers from a tray, trudged to a recliner, kicked back, and set the cucumbers on his closed eyes.
Noah looked at Colton. “Are we supposed to do that?”
Colton shrugged. “If we were supposed to eat them, wouldn’t there be dip or something? Who just eats a slice of cucumber without, like, ranch dressing or something?”
“There are carrots, too, though,” Del said. “Where the hell are we supposed to put those?”
Noah dropped into a chair by the fireplace. A moment passed, and then Malcolm joined him.
“You okay?”
Noah stared into the flames. “Great.”
Malcolm clasped his hands between his knees and stared into the fire. “You figure anything out this week?”
“Yeah,” Noah laughed with no amount of joy. “I can’t live without her.”
Alexis turned one more time to look in the full-length mirror in her hotel room as Liv peered around the corner. This dress was the reason she’d driven herself. Because she needed to do some shopping, and even though Alexis had to admit that she looked pretty damn good in her new dress, she hesitated about actually wearing it.
“You’re sure it’s not too much?” She smoothed the red formfitting skirt and turned to stare at her butt. A deep V-neck exposed most of her back. She paired it with some new leopard-print pumps. It was so outside of her ordinary style that she was afraid Noah wouldn’t even recognize her.
Alexis puffed out her cheeks and let the air seep out. Nerves turned her stomach to a turnstile.
“It’s perfect.” Liv squeezed her shoulders from behind. “And hopefully you won’t be wearing it very long.”
Alexis elbowed Liv, who jumped back with a laugh.
Liv’s phone buzzed, and Alexis held her breath as she watched her friend check the screen. Liv looked up with a coy smile. “Showtime.”
Adrenaline made Alexis’s knees weak. “This plan seems