Crazy in Love - Lane Hart Page 0,22
we could live happily ever after? This is definitely not a fairy tale. At the moment it feels more like a nightmare and that the love of my life just brutally stabbed me over and over again in my chest. I think if he had done that it would be less surprising than the disgustingly low thing he actually did.
He recorded me. Naked, while riding his fingers. The first time a man’s ever touched me in such an intimate way, and now it’s tainted.
Jeez. I really need a cell phone in times like these to call Josie and ask her what the hell I should do now. I know where I’m supposed to be going, my photography class, but I can’t, not like this. Remembering I don’t even have any panties on makes me cry even harder. When I wipe the tears away, I realize the sewn floral pattern on my black dress is inside out. God, I’m a freakin’ mess. Stupid love potion. So far, all it’s done is nearly killed my professor and embarrassed me in front of him. Then I remember the look on his face, the heat in his sapphire eyes when he unzipped his pants, like his life depended on me giving him relief. And I wanted to, more than anything.
He had me coming undone before he even took my dress and panties off or touched me. After that, I surrendered to him, and was even ready to beg him to take me right there on his desk when I saw the phone in his hand. I’ve never felt so vulnerable.
“Are you okay?”
I lift my head and brush my hair out of my face to see a girl looking down at me with a worried expression on her face. No wonder. I’m such a mess, having a breakdown in the middle of campus.
“Yeah, thanks,” I tell her, wiping away the tears. “Do you know where I can find a cell phone?” I ask.
“Ah, I have one, if you need to borrow it,” she replies.
“Oh, no. I mean, like where they sell them?”
“Sure, yeah. There’s a cellular store down on Lawndale where it crosses Battleground.”
“Got it, thanks,” I tell her with as much of a smile as I can make.
“No problem. Hope you feel better,” she says before walking away.
Needing to get home to change and put myself back together, maybe find some underwear, I use the tree trunk to pull myself up to my feet. Unable to help myself, I glance over my shoulder, far across the courtyard to the Communications building where Gage’s office is, trying to figure out what to do now that everything is more complicated than I ever imagined. That’s when I spot him, elbows on his knees, head hanging in his hands. And even after everything, my heart races and my feet still feel the urge to take me closer to him, needing to be near him. I had no idea I could begin to love someone and hate them at the same time. But he hurt me, so for now I have no choice but to walk away from him until I figure all this out.
…
“Holy shit, girl. Are you okay?” Josie asks when she walks up to her apartment and I’m sitting on the stoop in a clean, green dress with matching panties, freshly showered, but still feeling…dirty.
“No,” I tell her. “But look, I got a cell phone.” I hold up the fancy new device for her to see.
“Now I’m seriously worried about you,” she says with her mouth hanging open. “Come on, let’s have some ice cream while you spill.” Offering me a hand, she helps me up, and suddenly it feels like I’m an old, frail woman, barely able to move. My heart is heavy, making it hard for the rest of my body to carry the weight around.
As soon as I’m inside Josie’s apartment, I flop down on the sofa and lay my head over on the arm cushion.
“Bad day?” she asks from the kitchen where I hear the clatter of bowls and spoons.
“You have no idea.”
“Love potion spank you in the ass like I warned you?” she asks with a giggle.
“Pretty much,” I mutter into the cushion.
When Josie eventually brings me a bowl of vanilla and strawberry ice cream, since she knows I don’t like chocolate, I sit up to accept it and dig in. The coolness instantly seems to relive the burning ache in my belly, at least for a few minutes.
“So,” Josie