THE CRAZY GOOD SERIES - Rachel Robinson Page 0,94

up on my tippy toes and he automatically leans down. I make the last move and press my lips to his. He clutches me to his chest like he needs me as much as he needs the air he breathes, but the kiss stays simple, pure. I shut my eyes and let myself feel everything I’ve pushed away. I hurt, I love, I want, I’m alive, I’m dead. I’m everything I once was when Nash ruined me, and at the same time I’m beyond that because Nash never loved me like Maverick does. My pulse skitters and my unsettled stomach flutters when I take a breath and smell Maverick—his cologne, his scent. The kiss slows, and I know it’s almost time. His thick lips don’t own me like they usually do.

They say goodbye.

I’m crying when he pulls away way too soon. It’s not the ugly, jagged Kim K cry; it’s more subdued. It’s the type of tears that promise a freaking flood later. I’m heartbroken and completely in love at the same time if that is even possible.

I nod and sniffle. “Safe travels,” I whisper. He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He can’t even pretend enough to convince me right now. The artful actor is nowhere in sight. Maverick is stripped of his defenses.

He grabs the handle of his sleek, black suitcase. The tiny movement causes my heart to pound out a crazy rhythm. Catching my breath will be impossible.

My gaze darts up to meet his. “Please be safe. Please. Good luck. You’re everything. You mean everything to me, Mav,” I murmur.

“Always,” Maverick says, voice light. “It’s not about luck, baby. That’s one thing I don’t need.” He presses his lips together in a firm line. “You’re everything to me too. I love you, Win.” He swallows and looks down at the ground, his black lashes fanning across his cheekbones. He turns and walks away. He doesn’t even wait for me to respond. He knows I won’t or can’t. He turns his head, his black t-shirt bunching in perfection across his back. A small one dimpled smile crosses his face as he says, “You have a surprise waiting for you at home.”

I cry and laugh at the same time. It comes out as an unattractive snort. I don’t trust myself to speak, so I smile as a response. It’s the last thing he sees. He turns again to walk toward the security line and I watch him for as long as I can.

He doesn’t turn around again.

_______________

I give ugly crying a new definition. Every single, freaking song that comes on the radio causes my vision to blur. They’re all miserable songs about love lost. Even the rap songs for God’s sake—even though the beat is a little happier than some of the other morbid choices.

I hit another pothole on the horrible highway. Between my tears, Virginia Beach potholes, and the sadness swelling in my chest, I’m not sure I’ll make it home in one piece. My phone chimes with text messages from Kathy and Gretchen—both of them wanting something from me. I can’t give any of them anything in my current state, so I don’t plan on responding until I can sleep off my heartbreak hangover. Until I can work out an equation to compute just how much one person can miss another without dying.

I figure Kathy’s dealt with her fair share of what I’m feeling, but turning to her for any kind of sound advice won’t be my best bet. My Dad, God rest his soul, would know exactly what to say to me right now. He died in a car accident that was both utterly tragic and ironic. It killed him on impact, which I always looked at as a blessing. No suffering. He was driving one second and dead the next. If you have to go early, that’s the way. A drunk driver hit him. I don’t think Kathy’s been sober a day since it happened. That’s the ironic part.

Dad would have told me a story about a strong heroine who conquered the world, and then spouted off several relevant quotes about love and perseverance. Sometimes I think if I had him around when Nash and I broke up, I wouldn’t have landed in a shrink chair laden with self-hatred. That’s all psych’s really are anyway—someone who listens and gives sound advice without judging.

I miss my Dad. I’ll always miss him. I haven’t died from missing him yet, so maybe missing Maverick will be easier.