THE CRAZY GOOD SERIES - Rachel Robinson Page 0,31

them to Windsor, and there is just no comparison. I haven’t even gone past second base with the woman and I know she’s going to rock my God damned world like a hurricane when I finally get inside her. The anticipation is almost too much. That says something because I thrive on the feeling of not knowing what comes next, yet knowing I’ll be able to conquer it completely.

“What’s the S.O.P for this? I’m in the dark,” I ask Stone as he flings himself onto the couch. I’m more nervous about letting a woman into my world than going down range with bullets whizzing past my head. I can do bullets. I can do bad guys hiding in closets with AKs. I can’t do this. “I don’t even know what this means. I feel crazy, man,” I whisper. I can tell Stone anything. And admitting this is fucking hard.

He flicks on the big screen television to create noise. “There is no standard operating procedure for this. This isn’t something you can control, like every other facet of your meticulous fucking world. That’s the point. That’s why you feel like this. You’re taking a risk in something that you’ve never dabbled in before. It’s something you didn’t even do with her.” He says the last part with mock disgust. We don’t talk about her. I don’t even like to think about her. She’s known as the biggest mistake of my life in a tiny, bitchy, blonde monster package. I’ll pay for that blunder for the rest of my life. Literally.

I sigh. “Maybe I’m too fucked up to get into this with her. I should just back off now.”

“Is that what you want to do?”

“No. I don’t even think I could if I wanted to,” I say. Lacing my hands around the back of my head, I look up to the ceiling. “I hired Tawny to go clean my house. I haven’t even asked Windsor to come over yet. She might freak the fuck out and say no. She knows about my hotel thing. It’s probably too big of a step.” Stone is shaking his head before I finish.

“You really haven’t bagged her?” he asks. I wince at the word, but figure if I hear him talk about bagging his wife, I shouldn’t correct the word now. In my mind I’ve fucked her every way imaginable. Even a few ways I’m not sure are possible while having a spine.

“No,” I admit. “And not because she hasn’t wanted it. She has begged me a million different ways. I can’t say no anymore, dude. It’s killing me. Just the aftermath…and everything that will change when it’s a done deal. Fuck!” Stone points the remote at the TV and changes the channel. I can’t explain how just being with her, not touching or kissing or even talking, is enough. It’s enough for me. Fucking that up isn’t an option. She’s open and honest and all at once it fucking hits me: that’s probably one reason, if not the main reason I can’t push her away…why I don’t want to push her away. She doesn’t hide a thing from me.

Even if she tried, I’d see it as clear as the blue of her eyes. I’ve only had that with one other person. And he has a vagina dick, so I can’t put them in the same column. She wants to have sex with me, but that’s not all she wants from me…like all the other women. They say they want more…I never believed them, though.

“You can do this, Maverick. You got this. You deserve this. I’m not gonna go all homo on you, but if it’s easy…then it’s right. That’s how I knew with Morg. Granted she’s as predictable as a snake, but I don’t think around her…it just is. I’m not up in your business but I see enough to know that whatever you have with Windsor is good,” he says. The word again—good. She is so fucking good. Stone’s right.

I feel like a pussy, but I need to hear him say these things. Call it a weakness from growing up in a family that never accepted or appreciated anything about me or my life, but there it is. I get what I need elsewhere. From my brother.

“Tawny’s probably all up in your shit at the house. I can’t believe you let her in there.” Stone laughs. It’s over. The moment passes but everything remains. Everything.

Steve jukes his way toward us wearing boxing gloves and