THE CRAZY GOOD SERIES - Rachel Robinson Page 0,135

not honest. I’m trustworthy though. It sounds like fuck-all bullshit, but that’s it. That’s me. It’s all I can offer, Win. The dark places stay dark places. You’ll never have all of me. I don’t expect you to be happy about that fact. I just want you to love what’s in front of you. Because what you see, this person I am when I’m with you? It’s the best version of me and it’s all because you didn’t run from the other me. I love you. I love all of you. Now, I’m asking you to love me back, but only the part that deserves your love. This guy. Right here and right now. I’m offering you what’s left of me. It’s not much, but it’s all I have to give. Look at me. Look at my life. I’m fucking crazy, and maybe I’m a little bit deranged and over-the-top. But you? You’re good. You make me good.” I pull her to my chest, because the inches between our bodies feel like oceans. Her arms wrap around me and her face finds that place on my chest that only she can fit into—like a puzzle piece.

“I love all of you, Maverick,” she sighs against me. The feeling buzzing around inside me right now is why I drank myself into oblivion. It was absent. “You’re not deranged either. Maybe just a little compulsive and set in your ways, but not deranged. I’ll take what’s left of you. It’s more than I could have hoped for. I have to admit though, I’m afraid.” She shivers.

I pull back to read her eyes. “Of what?” I’ll crush any fear she has.

“Of loss,” she says. With one word she’s explained everything that’s wrong with my life. It’s undeniable. It’s the one thing I can’t promise her. It’s part of me. My loss. Her loss. The whole damned world’s loss. I can’t protect her from that. “I see what loss has done to you and Morganna, and I’m not that strong.”

I tip her chin up and will her to see everything inside my mind. How I think she’s the strongest person in this world…in this universe. Silent strength. Passionate strength. The strength to forgive. The strength to move on in the midst of her darkest hours. She’s stronger than me. Fearing loss is the worst way to live. It’s worse than actually dealing with it.

“You just have to live, Windsor. Worrying accomplishes nothing. Tomorrow isn’t promised. All we have is today. Right now. This moment is what’s left. Loss only exists because you had something worth losing in the first place. Do you know how stupid I feel for wasting four months of tomorrows?” Her blue eyes look fierce as indecision lights her face. A moment later Windsor leans up and presses her lips against mine, twining her arms around my shoulders, her body against mine. I’ve had a lot of great moments in my life. This one tops the list. I deepen the kiss, running my hands down her sides to rest on her small hips. If lips could heal, Windsor’s would be my type of treatment. I forget about everything. It’s just her and I and our blistering, fucking amazing, crazy love lighting the entire world on fire. That’s what it feels like, anyway.

I bring a hand up to grab her chin. She automatically opens further, letting my tongue dip inside to meet hers. “Miss you,” she says against my teeth. Her body is so warm against mine, her tits pressing on my stomach. She has morphine-laced lips. Her kiss numbs all the bad. Delirious happiness rages inside me. I want her. How did I stay away from her for so long? I was a fucking drunken idiot. I want to punish myself for punishing myself.

“I missed you too,” I say, not breaking our mouths apart. It’s more than mere miss, though. I want to stay attached to her forever. I don’t want this to end. I thought it did end. I thought it was fucked forever. I should have known better.

Love doesn’t die. No matter how many bullets you put in it. It breathes on its own without oxygen, without need for anything else. It exists, swirling in its own form of gravity, ready whenever you are, to be consumed by it.

I hold her gorgeous face in my hands and with a great effort I tear my wet lips from hers. I only stop because if I let this kiss go on I