Crazy Eights (Stacked Deck #8) - Emilia Finn Page 0,13

world who was afraid of childbirth so she closed her legs and planned to hold it in. But ya know what?” I squirt a little water in her direction. “It doesn’t work like that.”

“Oh, forgive me, Doctor Kincaid. I must’ve missed that medical degree you got in your spare time. This baby is in my belly, which means I get to choose when it comes out. And you, with the big nosy nose that likes to nose into everyone’s business, don’t get a say.”

“Smalls.” My sister wanders into the room in a sports bra and booty shorts – she’s been training like the rest of us suckers. Her hair is tied back, sweat dribbles along her washboard abs, but her smile is nice. Her happiness makes me happy. She stops beside Smalls, her best friend, and goes to work touching Evie’s belly. “You’re wrong on sixty different levels,” she murmurs. “You don’t get to choose shit. And,” she grins. “Baby is dropping.”

“Dropping?” Ben screeches. “Right now?”

“Not right now.” Bean rolls her eyes. “I mean…” She shakes her head. “Forget it. Just know that baby is in charge here, not Smalls. And the baby is heading south. She’ll be here before we know it.”

“She?” Ben goes into arm-flapping panic. “It’s a girl?”

“Or he.” Bean snickers. “I have no clue what it is. But I’m pretty damn tired of saying it. Aren’t you?”

“I want this baby out, now.” He turns to his wife and sneers, “Now! Squat, Eve, and push that sucker out.”

“Oh, sure. Dumbass.” She drops into a squat purely for the sake of sending Ben into a tailspin, then she pops up again and lifts a brow. “Didn’t work.”

“Bean!” he pleads with our sister – Bean and I share a mom, Bean and Ben share a dad… it’s all kinds of fucked up. “Get it out now. I need it out, because at the moment, I can’t see shit, and what if the cord is wrapping around… ya know?” His face turns pale despite the repressive heat in here. “What if it’s missing a leg? Or maybe it wants to take a shit, but it can’t, because it’s mother is a stubborn fucking mule and won’t play nice.”

“You know what?” Bean looks at Smalls. Then Ben. Back and forth. “You both need to chill the hell out. Smalls, that baby is gonna come when it’s ready. This has nothing to do with you, your schedule, or your teeny tiny giney hole. And Ben… same, but, you know… not the vagina thing.”

“Yes to the vagina thing,” Evie grumbles. “He’s invested in its teeny tininess.”

Bean scrunches her nose with distaste. “Gross. Neither of you gets to dictate the timeline for this. But you’re both making it more stressful than it needs to be. Chill out, go home and eat something cold, then call me when baby is on its way.”

“You’ll be there, right?” Evie whips her arm out and snags Bean before she can walk away. “You’re gonna be there for the whole thing?”

“I’m not a midwife, Smalls! I don’t know how to deliver babies.”

“But you know stuff! You know if something really bad is happening. And you know how to advocate for me – ya know, with medical procedure, or if that fails, a fast jab to the side of the damn head. If the doctors are making bad choices, you can knock them the fuck out and fly this plane. Right?” She squeezes Bean’s arm. “Right! You were dead for a minute there when you were born. Uncle Jimmy told us so, which means childbirth is like…” She widens her eyes. “Really dangerous! You need to be there to make sure I live.”

“Fuck me,” Ben growls. “Enough with the death talk! Evelyn, let’s go. We’re going home to chill the fuck out, exactly like Bean ordered.”

“You need to relax,” I murmur to them all. “Babies are born every damn day. She’ll be fine, and you know damn well she’ll be back in the gym a week later.”

“I’m dying to spar,” Evie whines. “I legit crave hitting somebody. Oh.” She turns to Ben and smiles. “When the baby is coming, I want you to stand on my left side.”

He looks into her eyes, and purses his lips. “So you can wind up the right and hit me?”

She flashes an adoring smile and stands on her toes to kiss him. “You get me, Sasquatch. You know my heart.”

“I also know your temper.” He kisses her back. “Which means I’m gonna stand on