making me laugh. “I can say the words. You want to put hickeys on my thighs,” she said, jokingly drawing out the words. “You want to spank me.”
She was joking, teasing me, and I still couldn’t help but get hard at the words coming out of her mouth.
“You want these big, new breasts in your face while you’re fucking me,” she said, leaning back against the seat. “Which is odd, because if I remember correctly, it was all about the doggie-style with you when we were teenagers.”
I huffed out a surprised laugh and looked at her. “It was any way I could get you when we were teenagers. Usually, that meant we were outside, and I didn’t want you to have to lay on the ground, so missionary wasn’t my go-to.”
“Oh,” she said, crossing her arms over her big, new breasts. “Well, that’s actually kind of sweet.”
“Mmhmm,” I hummed.
“We’ve gotten off track,” she said. “Why now?”
I tried to think of a way to change the subject, but by the stubborn set of her chin, I knew she wasn’t about to let it go. Instead, I went with honesty. “We’re almost to Eugene,” I said, keeping my eyes on the road. “And you’re gonna be surrounded by family and the club, and I know you.” Her hand covered mine on her thigh, and she slid her fingers between mine. “You’re gonna start talking about how I don’t need to be there. That you’re safe. That I should get back to my life.”
“You know it’s true,” she replied quietly.
“I don’t know it’s true,” I said, tightening my fingers around hers. “I don’t know what the fuck is true right now. All I know is that they’d have to drag my ass away from you at this point, and I wouldn’t make it easy for them.”
Cecilia didn’t say anything, so I left it at that. I considered telling her that I didn’t just want sex from her, but I dismissed it. She already knew that. It had never been just sex with us, not even when we were two horny nineteen-year-olds with a lot of time on our hands. At the risk of sounding like a complete fucking sap, our connection was about more than that. We’d understood each other in a way that other people didn’t—the every-other-weekend kid that never felt like he belonged anywhere, and the misunderstood brat that acted out because she felt like no one saw her.
“I wonder where they’re going to have us stay,” she said after a while. “It’s not like I can stay in the clubhouse long-term.”
“Probably at your parents’ place,” I replied, instinctively cringing at the thought.
“God, I hope not. That place has had enough chaos. I can’t believe they never moved.”
“Me, either.”
“After the shooting, my dad said that some pencil-neck fuckers weren’t going to scare his family from their home,” Cecilia said dryly. “It was his big stand. But all the kids are gone now, you know? Only Charlie’s still at home, and she wasn’t even alive then. What does he have to prove at this point?”
“Maybe they just love the place,” I replied.
“Well, I don’t. I don’t give a shit if they redid the backyard. It’s still the place where our lives fucking exploded.”
As we got closer to Eugene, Cecilia’s hand went to her mouth, her fingers pulling at her bottom lip over and over. By the time we took our exit, her knee was bouncing with anxiety and her hand was holding mine so tightly that my fingers had begun to ache. There wasn’t anything I could say that would calm her down, and I wondered how in the world she’d forced herself to visit in the past if it made her that nervous.
When we pulled through the gate of the Aces’ compound, it was like a switch flipped. Cecilia’s hand slid away from mine as she sat up straight and ran her fingers through her hair. She quickly pulled her sweatshirt back on and found a tube of lipstick in her purse, smearing it on without bothering with a mirror. By the time she’d settled back into her seat like she was out for a Sunday drive, it was like I was looking at a completely different person than I’d spent the last few anxiety-filled hours with.
As we pulled to a stop in the forecourt and I put the truck in park, Cecilia looked at me.
“Showtime,” she said quietly. Then, without waiting for me, she hopped out of the truck and