her eyes. “I need a bunch of crap and it’s all in different bags.”
“What do you need?”
“I can—” Her eyes met mine and her mouth snapped shut. She sighed. “I need a new pair of underwear, another sports bra, shirt, pants, and socks.”
“You need that baby soap we got at the store?”
“No.” She sat carefully on the bed. “My toiletries are in the diaper bag.”
“Alright.”
“You don’t have to wait on me,” she said softly.
“I don’t mind goin’ to get your stuff,” I said, reaching out to run my hand over her hair. God, she looked so worn down. I’d never seen her look so drained. “I’ll be right back.”
It took me longer than I wanted to find everything she’d asked for because my shoulder was throbbing like a bitch and I had to baby it—but eventually, I’d packed her an overnight bag and headed back toward the building. I didn’t notice Casper standing outside until he called my name.
“What’s up?” I asked, stopping a few feet away.
“Can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done,” he said, his words coming out with a billow of smoke. I glanced down at the joint in his hand and he raised it in invitation.
“I’m good,” I said with a shake of my head.
“Helps me sleep,” he said, leaning back against the brick wall. “Took sleepin’ pills for a bit, but they made me groggy as fuck. Plus, I’m not a fan of big pharma tryin’ to shove pills down my throat when this works better.”
I just nodded. I wasn’t sure where the conversation was going.
“You came through in a big way,” he said, nodding. “And I gotta ask, man, what now?”
“What do you mean?”
Casper grunted. “I mean, we get to Eugene and then what? You leavin’?”
I didn’t respond.
“If the past is any indication, you’re gonna take off and I’m gonna have a daughter in my house that’s inconsolable, angry at the world, and never leaves her room.” He took a hit off his joint, paused and then let it drift out his nose and mouth. “But from what I’m seein’ now, that might not be the case. Just tryin’ to get the lay of the land.”
“I don’t know,” I replied honestly. “There’s a lot of history there.”
“You’re tellin’ me,” he chuckled humorlessly. “But fuck, man. That shit never comes easy. It just don’t. Doesn’t matter what kind of history you got.”
“I think ours is probably worst than most.”
“Yeah,” he said. “You’d think that. But I know a few couples that had it worse, and they’re still fallin’ asleep together every night.”
I just stood there. I had no idea what the fuck I was going to do. Part of me wanted to put a fucking brand on Cecilia’s forehead so everyone knew she was mine. The other part wanted to get her where she needed to be and then go back to my boring, drama-free life.
Shit.
“Yeah, I see the wheels turnin’,” he said. “Think on it.”
He strode away into the darkness and I turned toward the door. I guess I was lucky that he hadn’t punched me while he had the chance. I’d always kind of been waiting for the payback, the retribution for completely fucking up his daughter’s life—but it never came. He’d always been civil, even when I’d come back to visit the year after it all went down.
Without conscious thought, my first instinct when I stepped into the common area was to find Olive. Farrah was holding her, swaying side to side, and I let out a breath. I knew she was fine, she was as safe as she could be in the middle of the clubhouse, but there was this weird, constant niggle in the back of my mind to know where she was at all times. It was like needing to know where my wallet was, but a fuck of a lot stronger.
“CeeCee sleeping?” Farrah called out as I made my way through the room.
“She wants a shower first,” I replied, gesturing to the bag in my hand.
“Okay, when she’s done, this sweet thing’s getting hungry.”
“Alright. I’ll come get her as soon as Cec is finished,” I said.
“He’s a cutie,” I heard Eileen say as I left the room. My lips twitched. I didn’t know if I’d ever been called a cutie in my life. I’d been an awkward kid and then a pretty solidly built man. Cute was for round cheeks and charm, neither of which I’d ever had.
“Hey, baby,” I said opening the door to our room. “You