how much I fuckin’ hate feelin’ like we’re runnin.’ I’ve never run from a fight in my entire goddamn life.”
“You’ve got shit happening back home,” I replied. “Can’t be two places at once.”
“Problem is, we’re just bringin’ the problems down here and addin’ them to the ones we’ve got up there.”
“You hear anything?”
“Not a goddamn thing,” he spat. “People don’t just fuckin’ disappear. I have no idea what the hell is goin’ on up there.”
“Two days, and you’ll be there to sort it.”
“I fuckin’ hope so,” Casper said. “Keep your eyes sharp. I’ll catch you on the other side.”
He went around the truck to kiss Farrah goodbye and I strode to Cecilia’s door. She was sitting sideways in the seat, waiting for Olive. As soon as I got close, she hopped down so I could put the baby’s car seat inside.
“You got everything?” I asked her, reaching up to push her tangled hair out of her face.
“Yeah, we were already packed,” she replied. “I had Lu grab me a blanket so I could sleep.”
“Good idea.” I stared at the dark shadows beneath her eyes and the sharp ridge of her cheekbones. “You need the rest.”
“We’re headed north?” she asked.
“Yep. Oregon or bust,” I joked.
“Okay.” She gave me a wan smile and turned away, climbing gingerly into the truck. When she sat down, she winced.
“You alright?”
She nodded as she buckled her seat belt. “Just sore.”
I closed the door as she pulled the throw blanket up around her shoulders. Yeah, I bet she was sore. I couldn’t imagine that any of the activities over the past week had been easy on her healing body. On top of everything else, I hated the fact that she didn’t even have time to recover from giving birth.
She was riding the razor’s edge, and everyone could see it. She’d held up, no one could argue that—keeping a cool head, doing whatever was asked of her, and never complaining or breaking down. It was coming, though.
Some point soon, she was going to lose it, and I was super fucking concerned that none of us were going to know how to help her when she did. Crying, screaming, throwing shit—I could calm that down. But the brittle way she was moving? The blank stares? The calm, almost robotic responses? They scared the hell out of me.
We didn’t bother going in circles or trying to lose any potential tails—it was too late for that—instead, I drove straight to the freeway and hauled ass west. Cecilia and Olive slept until we’d hit California and were headed north.
“There’s nowhere to change her back here,” Cecilia complained, rifling through a bag to find supplies.
“Just lay her on your knees,” Farrah replied, turning in her seat so she could watch. “Make it work.”
“I don’t want to make it work,” Cecilia mumbled tiredly. “I want to be sitting on a couch somewhere, with space to spread out.”
“You’ll get there,” I reassured her, glancing in the rear view mirror. “Just a couple more days.”
I kept my eyes on the road as Cecilia pulled Olive out of her seat and got her changed. Our plan to keep going while she took care of the baby had seemed like a good one at the time, but I had to admit that in practice, it was more nerve-wracking than I’d thought it would be. Freeway drivers were assholes, and I was constantly cursing under my breath as they did stupid shit—cutting each other off and generally driving like idiots at eighty miles an hour. On top of that, Olive seriously didn’t like being changed, and the cab was filled with screaming so loud that it made my ears ring. I’d never been so glad that my truck was considerably bigger than most of the cars surrounding us.
“Finally,” Farrah said with a laugh when Olive stopped wailing.
“It’s hard to maneuver back here,” Cecilia replied. “She doesn’t like being undressed.”
“You were completely the opposite,” Farrah mused. She propped her chin on the seat back. “Probably because your skin was so sensitive. We even had to use cloth diapers because anything else gave you a rash.”
“I didn’t know that,” Cecilia said. “Was it a total pain in the ass?”
“Yeah, at first,” Farrah said with a nod. “But once we had it figured out, it was no big deal.” Farrah chuckled. “I was glad we didn’t need to use cloth with Lily, though. By that time, I was up to my ears in laundry already.”
“These diapers don’t seem to bother Olive,” Cecilia