guitar and I grab my purse, then we head out to my car.
He’s quiet on the drive, and I keep the radio low in case he wants to talk.
“Can I ask you something?”
“You ask me anything you want, except for a million dollars. Not because I wouldn’t give it to you, but because I don’t have it.”
He smiles. “It’s not money.”
“Oh, thank god.” I wink. “What’s up, kiddo?”
“Did you and Nolan break up because of me?”
If I weren’t driving a car with my kid in it, I’d stop breathing right on the spot. But since I can’t, I push through, exhaling slowly.
“Why…” The words are lodged in my throat, so I lick my lips to try again. “Why do you think Nolan and I were dating?”
He scoffs. “I have eyes.”
“Really? Then why do you have such a hard time picking your socks up off the floor if you can see them lying there?”
“I said I have eyes, not gumption.”
I smash my lips together, trying not to laugh. I didn’t even realize he knew the word gumption. He should really stop hanging out with his English teacher so much.
“And besides,” he continues, “I saw you kissing.”
“What? When?”
He shrugs. “Lots of times. You didn’t think I could see you, but I did.”
I think back to the start of things, trying to figure out when Sam could have seen us, and I realize it was quite often.
At home, Nolan and I tried hard to keep things platonic with Sam around, but I don’t think we were always intentional about it. It felt too natural being with him, and I didn’t think to hide it because it never felt like it was something I shouldn’t be doing.
“Oh.” It’s all I can think to say.
“Was it because I drank his PowerUp and borrowed his book?”
My heart squeezes for the second time tonight. “No, Sam, that’s not what happened.”
“Are you sure? Because Nolan was really mad at me. I thought he got tired of having me around and wanted us gone.”
“We moved out because our apartment was ready early. That’s all. As for Nolan and me…well, that’s a little more complicated, but I promise it had nothing to do with you.”
“Are you going to get back together? Because I really like him. He plays video games with me, and Dad never plays them at all. Plus, Nolan likes football, and Dad doesn’t like that either. I liked having another guy around.”
Hearing Sam’s words…something hits me.
Nolan’s been like a stand-in father for Sam. Losing him wasn’t just a blow for me, but for Sam too.
“I could play video games with you,” I offer, trying to keep the tears stinging my eyes at bay. “And I can learn about footsball.”
“Football,” he corrects, then sighs. “See? This is why I need Nolan around.”
I’d like him to be around too.
“What? Your mom not cool enough for you anymore?”
“Were you ever cool?”
“Hey, watch it! I brought you into this world, and I can take you right back out.” I grin to myself. I always wanted to use that line.
He shrugs, unapologetic. “So, are you getting back together?”
Can you get back together with someone you were never really with?
Nolan and I were never supposed to last more than my stay. There’s no getting back together.
There’s moving on.
And that’s what I need to do—move on.
I need to accept that Nolan doesn’t feel the same way I do.
“No, buddy. We’re not,” I tell him, pulling into the school parking lot and pushing the car into park. “But let’s not focus on that. Tonight is your night.” I force a smile, turning to him. “You ready to go kick some ass?”
His lips are turned down in a frown, though I don’t know if that’s from my confession or because he’s not looking forward to the performance.
“As I’ll ever be.” With a huff, he climbs out of the car.
We make the quick walk into the school. Sam goes backstage, and I head for the audience.
River and Dean are already there with seats saved. They wave frantically when they see me.
“Hey.” I slip onto a chair. “Thanks for the seats.”
“I made sure to get here early so we’d have a good spot,” River says, beaming brightly, proud of herself.
“Excuse me,” Dean cuts in, glowering at her. “I’ve been saving these seats since five PM…when I set the damn chairs up. You showed up five minutes ago.”
“Like I said, I was early.”
He glares. “You’re lucky I’m a teacher and there are parents around so I have to remain