The Cowgirl's Chosen Love - Vivian Arend Page 0,102

of her family for them to survive this year. How if it was only the two of them on the line, maybe they would’ve been able to give up by now, but not when Finn and Karen would also be affected.

The rest of the family returned as lunchtime approached. The quiet conversation was over, but Petra’s words kept drilling through her brain.

He’s never looked at another woman the way he looks at you.

That night, as Zach caught her fingers in his and tugged her toward the edge of the deck so they could get into prime sunset viewing position, Julia couldn’t keep the truth hidden from herself anymore.

She didn’t want Zach to have to act as if she were important to him just to keep her family from being rightly upset at the tangled mess they were in. She didn’t want this to be pretend. She wanted the kisses and the cuddles to mean something. She wanted the time that they spent in bed exploring new ways to make each other happy to be the beginning of forever, not a short-term, temporary distraction.

Beside her, Zach adjusted position so he could curl his arm around her. His lips pressed briefly to her temple, a tender move that nevertheless drove a stake into her soul.

She wanted this to be real. Because for her, it already was.

Julia Blushing had fallen in love with her husband, and that realization just might break her.

The sun took its time gathering colours this evening. Feminine laughter swirled around them along with childish voices.

Little Beau came stumbling over on his sturdy toddler legs, eyes blinking hard as if desperately trying to stay awake even as he held pudgy fingers up to his uncle.

As easy as breathing, Zach leaned over and picked up his nephew, settling the little guy in his lap with one arm wrapped around him to keep him in place before he reached back for Julia’s fingers and held on tight.

She caught herself staring at the sunlight reflected over the little boy and the man at her side. Beau rested his cheek on Zach’s chest, thumb in his mouth as he stared back, eyes drooping in spite of his determination.

This. She wanted this as well—a family. From the interfering parental units to the sisters on both sides who would never stop asking the hard questions or making her see what was right there in front of her face. She wanted children with Zach’s blue eyes, and she wanted to be able to see him guide them with laughter and kindness and truth.

No lies. Nothing but a firm foundation and a home built on love.

Her breath caught in her throat, because for one moment she had a perfect vision of what she wanted, and what could be—

Except that foundation could tumble away at any moment because it wasn’t built on truth. It was built on Zach and her trying to do the right thing for others, and that’s where the whole thing was going to tip over and break into a million pieces.

That’s where her mom had gone wrong. Making a decision that forced others’ hands and didn’t let them decide for themselves. She couldn’t do it.

Zach glanced at her, concern slipping in. “You okay?”

She forced a smile. Fortunately, before she had to say something that would be an outright lie or to explain that in this case okay meant one step away from breaking apart because everything in my world is no longer real, Beau jolted halfway awake, his arms flailing.

It took a second for Zach to soothe him, adjusting position so the toddler lay cradled against his chest. Long enough for Julia to slide her worries into a box and seal it up firmly to be dealt with in the morning.

She wanted one more night before facing the truth that in this fairy tale, the happily ever after wasn’t real.

Much, much later, after dinner and games and family time were done, starlight glittered overhead as the final good-nights of the evening were said. She and Zach were the last ones left outside, sitting on the edge of the pool with their feet dangling in the water.

Zach’s hand reached around her, fingers gently cupping her hip as he pressed his lips to the back of her neck. “I like it when you wear your hair up. I get to touch all the sweet, soft parts of you.”

She tilted her head to expose more skin. “We could take this to our cabana. I wouldn’t mind finding some