had spent most of the day outside. When he crawled into bed that night, something plagued his mind. My own emotions seemed to be a roller-coaster. The inability to talk to him about how I really felt persistent no matter how I tried to approach the conversation. It wasn’t like him to not make a move on me as I backed against him. His shaft was rigid, ready for me. Yet he softly kissed my cheek and fell asleep.
The next morning, I woke up feeling sick, the unease in my stomach taking hold. As I tried to get dressed, nausea spilled over and sent me running for the adjoining bathroom. Holding onto the commode for dear life, my mind darted over what I’d eaten. Jackson and I had the same thing, yet he seemed fine. In a moment of peace, I darted back to the bedroom and pulled up the calendar on my phone.
“Oh my God,” I stammered.
Over the next hour, I fought with myself about what to do until I finally resigned to my worries and made a quick trip to the drug store. I’d never been so nervous as I sat and waited for the pregnancy test to finish. It was the longest three minutes of my life. When the alarm on my phone sounded, I quickly grabbed the stick from the edge of the counter and closed my eyes as I took a deep breath.
Two bright-pink lines greeted me. My heart pounded in my chest as my hands shook. I was going to be a mother and Jackson a father. We were going to be a family. All my trepidations seemed to fall away as the feeling of love encompassed me. Natalee was right. I was head over heels in love with Jackson, and it was time he knew. It was going to be a night full of surprises. Wonderful, chaotic, and unexpected surprises.
“Hey!” Jackson said as he slipped in. “Boy, long day out there. We made out pretty well at the auction yesterday, though.”
“Good, sweetheart.” I smiled at me. “I’m really happy to hear that. I haven’t started dinner yet; I wasn’t sure what you wanted.”
“Whatever sounds good to you. I’m not picky. If it doesn’t eat me first, I’ll dive in.”
“Nothing sounds good right now,” I told him. “So, we can have whatever you want.”
“Uh oh, are you getting sick?” he asked. “I mean, I’m sure you are getting sick of me by now, but that’s another thing altogether.”
I grinned. “Why would I be getting sick of you?”
Jackson shrugged. “You’ve been stuck here with me for six months. It has to feel pretty good knowing that the prison sentence is almost over, right? By this time next year, you will be free as a bird.”
My heart dropped at his laid-back manner. He was rifling around the fridge, talking like we were nothing but friends with a business arrangement. It dawned on me that to him, that’s all we were. Two people who had nothing in common but a need to meet. How could I have been so foolish to think that he loved me?
I hung my head, the tears starting to fall as he talked about the new cattle he’d picked up at the auction. Jackson bustled around the kitchen, reheating leftovers and acting like nothing was wrong. Granted, he hadn’t looked in my direction to know that the tears were there. I quickly brushed them away so he wouldn’t see them. A resolve settled deep inside of me.
“Yeah,” I whispered. “I really can’t wait to be free from this crap.”
He froze, slowly turning. “I would say that’s a little harsh. Is everything okay? Hey, have you been crying?”
“Don’t worry about it,” I snapped. “It’s not your problem. I’m just the means to an end, remember? You know what? I don’t want to do this anymore.”
“What are you talking about? We are halfway through. Why would you go now? I thought things were going okay. Did I do something wrong? Do you need more spending money?”
I laughed. It sounded cold and menacing even to my ears. I’d forgotten about the check that he’d given me on the first day I came down. It now rested on the counter. I’d planned on ripping it up when I told him how I felt and about the baby, but now as it glared up at me, it seemed like a dirty deal. With one swift motion, I tore it in half and tossed it on the floor in