If he doesn’t want that, then I’ll be able to live with that decision, but I have to try. I can’t continue to live this way and I know that he doesn’t want to either. He’s ready for a change in his life, I just hope that I can be at his side.
“You’ve had some obvious bumps in your road the past few months, starting with your quiet breakup with your fiancé Sebastian, then your father’s passing, and now a possible reconciliation on the horizon?”
Laughing softly, I keep my voice as light and airy as possible. I want to tell her what a piece of shit Sebastian is, but I don’t. The last thing I need from him is to attack me for defamation.
He’s already proven that he doesn’t give a shit about me or my reputation, he’ll also drown me, throw me under a bus, whatever it takes, to save himself.
“I think that while I’ve has some challenges the past few months, I’ve also done some deep reflecting and I’m in a much better place today than I was before any of these things happened.”
“Oh, do tell,” she purrs, leaning forward.
I’m under no illusion that she actually wants to know, but for her fanbase, she needs to act excited for the tea I’m about to spill.
My lips stay curved up into a smile and I nod my head slightly. “When I left Los Angeles, after my father’s passing, I never imagined that my life would be the way that it is this exact moment,” I begin to explain.
I tell Nicole about my falling out with Sebastian, about going back to my roots and remembering just who I was before I became Sterling LaRue. Then, I tell her about the boy I left, then fell hard for all over again as a man.
“Are you leaving us, Sterling?”
Her question is one that I’ve been debating for days. Even if Ford doesn’t want me, can I stay here any longer? Is my heart in Hollywood anymore? Is my passion for acting? I can answer with certainty that, no, my passion for acting has dwindled. I don’t know if I’m just burnt out, or if I’ve outgrown it completely.
“Leaving? Are we ever truly gone, no matter what, in this industry?” I ask.
She tilts her head to the side, her eyes searching mine, or at least appear to. “You’re America’s Sweetheart, the film industry will not be the same without you,” she pouts. “How can you go from being everywhere, to living in the middle of a small town?”
I think about her question and I smile. “It’s easy,” I say. Her eyes widen and she jerks back slightly, not much, just enough that I notice I’ve surprised her. “My heart has always led me, and it’s calling me to go home.”
“Home?”
“My heart called me to come here seventeen years ago and leave everything I loved, everyone that I loved, and everything I knew behind me. Now, it’s calling me back where I belong. I tried this, and I love all of my fans and my life here, but it’s time for me to begin a new chapter. One that involves more than I can have here.”
“More than what all of Hollywood can offer?” she scoffs.
Licking my lips, I nod my head. “Yeah. Love, a family, friends that I shouldn’t have run away from. All of those things I can’t have here. I was young when I left Texas. I thought that I needed to try this acting thing out, live my dream, but I didn’t really take into account everything that I was leaving behind.”
“What was it exactly that you left behind?”
Inhaling a deep breath, I let it out slowly, my eyes finding the camera. “The love of my life,” I whisper.
Nicole cuts to a commercial break and I let out a grunt as I lean back in my chair.
“You’re really leaving? I can’t imagine you’d be happy in some little town in the middle of nowhere. You live in Malibu. I’ve seen you on every red carpet that meant anything for years. You’re a staple.”
Laughing, I shake my head a couple of times. “I can guarantee that in less than six months someone else will take my place. I’m okay with that. I have lived my life in the lights and I’m tired. I’m ready to just be still.”
She doesn’t say much else, our interview ends with a few questions about Sebastian and what he’s up to, all of which