I expect Wyatt to lash out, to argue with me, but he doesn’t. “Yeah, I don’t really have the right to lecture you, but at the end of the day, I truly forgave Sammie. We were young and made decisions that impacted our entire lives, Stevie did the same.”
Pressing my lips together, I nod my head. “Yeah,” I mutter. “She did. Now, instead of living the life I always dreamed of and having a family, I have my dream career with a nightmare of a personal life. Every fucking day I’m in hell, Wyatt.”
Holding my breath, I wait for him to walk away and I’m surprised when he doesn’t. “Lived that life too, Ford. For a long fucking time. That was my life, a living fucking hell.”
Only then, does he turn and walk away from me. Reese asks me to help him reel in a big one, and that’s what I do the rest of the evening, effectively ignoring Stephanie’s presence. When it’s time for dinner, I leave without a word to anyone.
I know that my friends will understand, but I can’t be around her. I can’t be anywhere near her, not like this. I didn’t think it was possible. Didn’t think that after this long I would feel anything when I looked at her.
I’ve seen her in pictures, watched her movies, hell, I’ve fucked other women with her movies playing in the background. For a while, that’s the only way I could actually get off with another woman. Then, just yesterday, I saw the nude picture of her being fucked by her fiancé, her tits on full display and pierced.
Fuck.
I can’t be around her.
I still want her.
Every part of her.
Chapter Five
STEPHANIE
Ford just walked away from his friends, because of me. I tried to leave, but they wouldn’t let me. They were all so nice, even Channing. Later in the evening, I found out why she didn’t despise me, because she’s married to Rylan, not Ford. When I told her what I’d thought, that I thought she was Ford’s wife, everyone laughed.
Now, I’m lying in my hotel room bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering how I can make amends with Ford. He’s obviously still hurt by what I did and I can’t blame him, hell, I think about the way I walked away from him at least once a day, every day. I just don’t know how to make it right. I do want to at least try though.
Maybe I need to tell him why I left, why I ran the way that I did. Maybe he wouldn’t fucking care. I let out a heavy sigh, turning to my side and reaching for my phone.
It’s two hours earlier in California, I could call Grace to see how the rest of the day of pierced boob pictures went over, but I don’t want to talk about that or the PR nightmare that it’s most likely become.
Instead, I decide to call Damion. He knows everything, and since I pay for him to be my friend, he has no choice but to listen to me talk about my pathetic life.
“Hey girl, hey,” he says softly.
“You’re busy,” I mutter.
I hear him clear his throat. “I’m not actually. Are you okay, after all that media nightmare?”
“I actually haven’t paid any attention. I don’t know what’s going on with that. I called about something else,” I groan.
There’s a moment of silence and then I hear him squeal on the other end of the phone. “You ran into Cowboy?”
I moan, pinching my eyes closed, wishing that I had never told him that I called Ford, Cowboy. “I did, and I thought that he was married with a family, but he isn’t. He’s single and he is still pissed off at me. He hates me,” I blurt out.
“I highly doubt he hates you and even if he thinks that he does, I think that he still loves you, but doesn’t want to admit it.”
I snort. “Doubtful. I do want to have peace between us though, I feel like we can’t move on until there’s that.”
Damion lets out a chuckle. “Girlie, you have tried to move on. With douchebag after douchebag. You aren’t going to find anyone who is as good as your cowboy, at least that’s how you feel. Not a single man can measure up to him, because…”
“Stop,” I moan.
“Because you still love him.”
Sitting up, I shake my head a few times as though he can see me. “I don’t,