give you a divorce.” He downed the rest of his whiskey in one gulp. “Look at us, trying to figure out the future, when we can’t even get a good firm grip on the present.”
“We ain’t got a choice,” Alana sighed. “Life says we’ve played too long, and now it’s time for us both to be adults. Kind of scary ain’t it? And Pax, I love you too much as a friend to rope you into a lifetime of marriage that you didn’t want. But you never answered my question. What do you want?”
“I want what Maverick and Bridget have. Matter of fact, I want what Hud and Rose have, what Tag and Nikki have, and all the other couples at the ranches in Sunset. I want what Grandpa and Mam had,” he answered without hesitation.
“And that is…?” she asked.
“Unconditional, complete love that will last forever,” he said.
“And how do you know when you’ve got it?” Alana asked.
“My heart will tell me,” he answered. “Grandpa told me that he knew right here”—Pax tapped his chest—“when he’d found the right woman. I’m depending on the same feeling to hit me.”
“I’d like something a lot more concrete, like the name of my forever soul mate to be written in the stars, or maybe for a halo to appear over his head when we’re sitting beside each other in church,” she said.
“That’s not asking for much,” he chuckled, but his tone suggested the opposite.
“I don’t think so.” She laid her head on his shoulder. “As my friend, I believe you could arrange that for me, right?”
“Sure I can.” Pax kissed her on the top of her head. “Anything for you, darlin’.”
* * *
Alana chose a cute little white sundress with a red short-sleeved knit cardigan to cover up her farmer’s tan for the wedding shower. She started to wear a pair of flat sandals but chose red wedge-heeled sandals, a luxury she would have never had with anyone else she’d dated. According to Trudy, the shower would last from two to four, but the bride and groom should plan to stay a little longer, since it might take extra time to open all the gifts.
Alana shook her head at her reflection in the mirror. “They’ll all have to be sent back after the annulment. That’ll be quite an undertaking for sure.”
“Hey, are you excited?” Matt poked his head in her bedroom door. “I heard you talking. Were you on the phone?”
“No, I was mumbling,” she answered, glad that he hadn’t heard her exact words.
“Well, are you excited about the shower?” he asked. “I remember when they gave me and your mother a wedding shower, and we finally got to move into what’s the bunkhouse now. My mother was already gone, but Dad let us have that place as our own, and your mama had such a good time putting homey touches on it.” He stared off into space, as if he was reliving those first days of marriage. “We were happy there, and then a year later, your grandfather got killed, so we moved into the big house—this place. It took both of us a while to be as happy here as we were out in the bunkhouse.”
“Yes, Daddy, I’m very excited,” she said. “But we have everything we could possibly need right here already, so I’m wondering what we’ll do with extra toasters and blenders. Not that I don’t appreciate everything that will be done for us. Don’t get me wrong.” She finished brushing out her hair and turned to face him. “How do I look?”
“Like you’re in love,” Matt told her. “I’m glad that guys go to these things nowadays. I don’t want to miss a single moment of all this, and I’m real happy that Pax didn’t mind you going with me. He and Iris are going to meet us at the door, so y’all can walk in together.”
Alana looped her arm into her father’s. “Let’s go unwrap presents. That part I do love.”
A hot wind swept across her face when they stepped out of the air-conditioned house onto the porch. Maybe that was the devil telling her that he owned her soul for so much lying lately—reminding her of how hot hell was going to be. If that was the case, then so be it. She wouldn’t change a thing because her dad was happy. And since he’d stopped that medication, he was even lucid most of the time again.
On the way to the church fellowship hall, she replayed