This Coven Won't Break - Isabel Sterling Page 0,61
by careful inch, and I can’t conjure up the energy to care anymore. So what if the Hunters take my magic? It’s not like it works anymore anyway.
None of it matters.
Veronica tips her head back against the headrest, and a tear spills down her cheek. “When will it stop? Will we ever be safe again?”
“We won’t stop trying,” Cal promises. “Alice is making progress with Eisha. We’re close to breaching the company. There’s still hope.”
“A man is dead, Cal.” I raise my head away from the cool glass, and the lack of emotion in my voice is unsettling, even to me. But I can’t inject any more life into my tone. I don’t have any left. “Hope isn’t going to bring him back. It’s not going to translate his spells, either. It’s over.”
“David isn’t the only Caster who uses that system,” Cal says.
“Are any of the others scientists?” I counter. “Being able to read his notes doesn’t guarantee they’ll understand what they mean.”
“Elder Keating will find someone.” But Cal doesn’t sound so sure anymore.
Traffic picks up, and no one speaks for a long time. Not until we leave New York behind. Veronica reaches for my hand. “Don’t be mad, Hannah.”
I tear my gaze away from the scenery and find her biting her lip, like she’s nervous. I raise an eyebrow in response.
She turns to Cal. “We might know someone who can help. Another Caster scientist. She’s a bio major at NYU.”
“Who?”
Veronica shoots me a worried look again, and I sigh, answering for her. “Lexie.” I picture the Caster Witch in her Manhattan apartment, swirling notes like the ones in O’Connell’s journals laid out before her. Hope tries to restart my heart. “Actually, I think she uses the same writing system as David, too. She might be able to translate his notes.”
Cal and Veronica make plans to call Lexie as soon as they get Archer’s approval. I listen to them work, but that empty feeling hollows me out again. I should warn Alice that the Casters who tried to hurt her might be coming to Salem, but I can’t make myself reach for my phone. Every plan we put together falls apart. Every time we think we’re making progress against the Hunters, they’re still one step ahead. Even if we get Lexie to Salem, there’s no guarantee she’ll actually be any help.
And what good am I against all of that? An Elemental who can’t even use her magic. A girl who can’t even recruit other witches without someone ending up drugged or dead.
I’m only making things worse.
What if I ruin everything?
Sleep must come for me, dragging me from despair into unconsciousness, because I see Dad. He doesn’t want me to give up, but what am I supposed to do? You can’t fight a hurricane with half an umbrella.
I jolt awake when someone opens my door. My head jerks forward, and my body floods with adrenaline. But then I see Mom standing in the dark, bathed by the motion-sensing lights in our driveway. Every horrible thing I said to her comes rushing in.
“Mom?”
She reaches for me and pulls me out of the car. “It’s okay, Han. I’m here.”
“You were right.” I bury my face in her neck and don’t even try to fight the tears. “I can’t do this. I’m done.”
“Oh, sweetie,” she says, holding me fiercely. “I didn’t want to be right.”
16
I SPEND THE REST of the night catching up on homework.
This is my life now, I guess. Discovering murdered witches in the morning and reading Shakespeare after dinner. I dodge Archer’s calls, and on Monday morning, when Cal stops by before school, I ask Mom to lie and tell him I already left. Cal tells her Archer is looking into David’s death and asks if I’ll call him.
From my hiding spot around the corner, guilt worms into my chest, but I can’t call. I won’t.
At school, the halls are hazy with wisps of memories. I walk through Benton’s form twice before homeroom, but I don’t acknowledge him. He isn’t part of my life anymore. I’m embracing my future as a Reg. It’s only a matter of time before the drug is airborne and everything I’ve spent my entire life working toward won’t matter.
I’ll never learn to create fire with nothing more than my own magic.
I’ll never inherit my grandmother’s coven.
Even though part of me remembers what Elder Keating said—that I’ll always be an Elemental, no matter what happens to my magic—it’s hard to believe her right now.