"They'll be okay, right?" I asked, needing the reassurance.
"They are warriors, Changeling. Each of us has fought in the war for years. This is not an excessively dangerous mission. The likelihood of them not returning is low. I have no doubt they will return to us unharmed."
I nodded, but inside, I couldn't help the worry that had yet to disperse and it became too much for me to hold inside. My gaze trailed back the way they'd gone. "It doesn't matter," I found myself saying, "if they've been warriors since the beginning of time. I don't care if they've never fallen in battle. Until I see them again, I won't be able to think of anything but them." I curled my hands into fists, feeling Roan's cloak warm against my sides. "I hate that I can't go—that I have nothing to give them on the battlefield. No skills of my own. That I can't protect them."
Sorrell sighed out a long breath. "Then I suppose I will be training you," he said. "For a Fae, the first step in entering the battlefield is learning how to control your magic."
"I'm not much of a fighter," I said with a wince. "But I hate seeing them go alone. Not knowing whether or not they are okay, or even alive—it's worse when I can't see them. It makes me feel sick." My fingers clenched against the outside of my stomach.
"They aren't alone," Sorrell replied, though I noticed that his gaze had returned to where they'd gone as he spoke. "They have each other as well as our soldiers."
"And what if the King expected us to attack his pantry? What if there is a whole battalion waiting there for them?" I shot back.
"What if the sky turns purple?" he countered.
"Don't," I warned as I knew the logical lesson he was preparing to give me.
"You can't focus on the what ifs, Cressida. It does nothing for you. Focus on the now, on what you can do in this moment to make it better, to prevent yourself from feeling this way again."
"You don't get it, do you? The only thing my mind will focus on is them, on how my heart feels like it's out there with them." I threw my hand up toward the window. "Riding around with them, getting ready to fight. It doesn't feel like it's in my chest anymore. It's like I can almost see them in my mind, but I don't know what's happening. The mere thought of them dying without someone there—without me there—it breaks me. It scares me."
Silence descended between the two of us and I knew I'd probably insulted him. I couldn't find it in myself to care, though. Everything I'd said was true. When I looked up, I found Sorrell's eyes on me. We stared at each other for a long moment as I waited for him to say something, until I couldn't stand it anymore. "What?" I blurted.
He stared for another moment before shaking his head and turning away. "Nothing," he said.
He began to walk away, only to stop and turn back. He moved with such strength and purpose. Had Roan said he looked exhausted? I couldn't see it in him now. Only intensity. I backed up as he towered over me, his icy gaze glaring into the depths of my soul. "If that's how you really feel—like you want to join them on the battlefield—then I will train you," he said. "Some Fae are more powerful than they appear and, with the right training, you might, might, be able to ride with them someday."
"Really?" I asked. "You think so?"
"I never say anything I don't mean," he replied coolly.
"Thank you, Sorrell. Truly."
When he turned and started to walk away again, he looked over his shoulder and arched a brow. "Are you coming?"
I blinked. "Oh, you mean now?"
"Yes. Now," he growled at me as his gaze dipped to the cloak around my shoulders. "And get rid of that thing. It'll get in the way."
With that, the Prince of Frost stormed off and I slipped Roan's cloak off my shoulders as I trailed after him, preparing to figure out if he was right and maybe I was one of those Fae who was more powerful than I appeared. I prayed to the Gods he was right.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Cress
Sorrell's anger was visible—actually tangible. A layer of ice coated the ground beneath his feet as he led me out into what appeared to be a courtyard made for training. There