Courage Under Fire (Silver Creek #2) - Lindsay McKenna Page 0,77

about ourselves, how to conduct ourselves out in the world, and in personal relationships. She truly is missed.”

He nodded, sipping his coffee. “I rebounded by getting into another relationship, and it was way too soon, I was still grieving, and it didn’t go well or last long. If I’d been smarter, more mature, I suppose, I’d have waived off that relationship because I was simply not ready for it, whether I knew it or not.”

“And you left the Marine Corps?”

“At twenty-six. My enlistment was up. I didn’t want any more war. I came home. Mary was running the ranch by herself because my father had died at age forty-five of a heart attack. She was having problems handling a ranch and a huge grocery store in Silver Creek. For two years, she taught me the ropes of running Three Bars. At twenty-eight, she legally handed it over to me to run, and that’s what I’ve been doing ever since, for the last two years. It’s freed her up, and you can see her creative decisions are really good ones. I learn from her every day.”

“Women’s capacity to see overall patterns?”

“That’s a good way of putting it,” Chase agreed. “Mary is really good at seeing that, but so are you, Cari. You’ve got your own consulting firm. That takes a visionary with the ability to ground it and make it work.”

“I got tired of men stepping into my path to try and control or direct me when I knew better,” she said.

“That is one of the many things I like about you is your belief in yourself.”

“My mother was instrumental in that, but so was my dad. When he died, my mother and I were devastated. He was ahead of his time, Chase, just like you. I think there is a very small percentage of males on this Earth who were raised matriarchal and taught to value and respect women just as they would any man. That’s the way you treat me, and I’ve got to tell you, it’s an aphrodisiac in some sense, to me.”

He grinned.

She lifted her index finger. “Be careful, Chase. I’m not using the word aphrodisiac in a sexual way. Okay?”

He laughed and held up his hands. “Busted. Okay, so you’re using the term to refer to something that gives you joy?”

“Ecstasy,” she said.

“I won’t go into the sexual meaning of that word, either,” he said teasingly.

“As long as you realize the difference. I’m not flirting with you. I’m using words that mean something important to me, but all words, as you know, have layers and levels of meaning, depending upon the person and how they receive them.”

“One of the many things that has drawn me to you, Cari,” he admitted, his voice low. “I’m glad we’re here, sitting down, talking about this . . . us . . . in an adult fashion. I’m scared inside, but I need to share how I feel about you. And I’m not sure if you’ll be comfortable with it or not. I’m afraid of rejection, like anyone, but I’m more afraid by opening up to you, that you’ll leave and never come back.”

She sat up, her elbows on the table, watching him intently. “Like I said earlier, the hardest thing in the world for me is a personal relationship. And I’m feeling just as afraid as you are right now.”

He sat back, frowning. “Why?”

“Before I saw Dirk come in that restaurant? I was constantly telling myself to stop being drawn to you, Chase. I didn’t come here thinking about a relationship. My life was fine without a man in it until I met you.”

“What was the draw, Cari?”

“How you treat me as an equal. You never placed your hand on me in a way that made me feel like I was being stalked or seen as a sexual object, or not being respected as a human being.” She took a deep breath and looked away for a moment. Finally, she met his intent gaze. “This may sound totally bizarre to you, Chase, but I think I’m falling for you. It wasn’t on purpose. It has happened little by little, every day in small, everyday things that showed me how much I looked forward to being around you.” She turned and pointed down the hall. “I loved the thought of waking up and seeing you out here in the kitchen, making us breakfast in the morning. Or to be with you out at the hives, or talking over possibilities of