She’d slipped out just after the kitchen was cleaned. Ellie happily bragged about her bread-making skills at dinner, and I still couldn’t believe she’d helped. Normally, she would have just stood back and watched us go about the process of everyday living. I’d noticed Mom was a lot calmer when Sloane was around, and even my father seemed to smile more easily. There was no denying that she was good for them as well as for me. I certainly knew she was good for Ellie, but I knew I needed to make sure my family didn’t rely on her too much. That wouldn’t be fair, and I wouldn’t want to run the risk of smothering her either.
“I’m going outside for a bit.” I kissed Mom on the cheek, and her face twisted into a smile.
“Dad said she was outside by the horses.”
I laughed. Even with the chaos of our lives, my mother could still read me like an open book.
I stepped outside where, to my surprise, Tripper was still on the porch.
“Hey, boy.” I patted his head and rubbed his ears the way he loved. “Where’s our girl?” His ears perked up, and he let out a whine.
Darkness draped across the yard and cast deep shadows around the farm equipment. There was a time when I would spend hours hidden away, invisible to the naked eye, pretending I was running from the enemy. My mission was to get across the field without our dog spotting me. Apparently, I was training for Blackstone at seven.
Tripper growled and poked my hand with his nose to get my attention. I followed his line of sight and spotted Sloane up in the loft.
“Good job.” I gave him another pat. “Stay,” I ordered as I made my way across the driveway toward the barn.
The cool air dipped into my jacket and made me shiver. The promise of snow could be felt in the air, and according to the weather report, we were in for a storm.
Doug stood above me and pecked at the ladder for me to come up. In a few strides, I brought myself to his level and twisted to stand then flipped on the twinkle lights and the warming lamp. A calming hum filled the space as I scooped up my beloved rooster and gave him a pat. “How are the hens, Dougie?” I kept my voice quiet so as not to startle Sloane.
She snapped out of her daydream and looked back at us as I came up behind her.
“Oh,” she quickly dried her cheeks, “I didn’t hear you come up.”
“Tripper outed you.” I tried to make her smile, but something was clearly bothering her. I shrugged out of my coat and tossed it aside. I often ran hot.
“Yeah,” she sniffed, “he wasn’t happy when I told him to stay.”
Sitting across from her on the ledge, I balanced Doug on my thigh and saw she must have been upset for a while.
“What’s going on?”
Her head dropped forward, and to my surprise, she smiled. It wasn’t necessarily a happy smile, but still. She ran a hand through her hair and let out a long breath.
“Something just hit me, and I’m still trying to process it.”
“Like?”
“Like something personal.” She drew her legs up and rested her chin on her knees.
“Well,” I looked out over the property, “Doug, here, is who I talk to when things get personal.” I held Doug up as an offering. He clucked, annoyed to have been moved from his warm spot on my leg.
“Thanks, but I’ll stick to Tripper.” She eyed my buddy and held up her hands, not wanting to accept my feathered pal. Then she laughed softly in an apology, and we fell back into silence. I hated that something was bothering her. I normally wouldn’t pry, especially into a woman’s head, but this was different. Whatever was bothering her was now bothering me.
“Hey,” I shook her foot, “come on.”
She sniffed again and closed her eyes then physically shook herself as if to shed the feeling.
“I grew up in an Army household. My father spent lots of time away. There was always a piece of me that left with him, and I never felt complete until he came home.”
“I can understand that.”
“I know how hard it was on me as a child, a child who thankfully didn’t know the awful dangers. Only now I can imagine what it must have been like for my mom.” She rubbed her arms. “It’s very different. You know? How a child misses