piece of shit. “I wish I could have listened to you. I wish I could have pulled back and realized you were only trying to help. And you did.” I prattled on, knowing I sounded like my mother who I just had on the phone. “Mom called this morning and was happy. I’m not going to lie, I was confused. One phone call she was a mess, and the next she’s seeing things totally differently. Do you know what that is like for me?” I shook my head and changed directions when she didn’t respond. “I’m not like the other guys. I lash out when I shouldn’t then shut down. I hide what I really feel. I push anything happy in my life away. I sometimes think I hide behind the pain of my sister’s accident so I won’t get more hurt myself.”
I removed her glass from her frozen fingers and gently brushed her hair from her face. Then everything inside me went to stone when I saw her battered cheek and black eye.
“Oh, my God.” I moved between her legs to get closer to her as tears started to leak from her eyes. “No, no, no.” My chest caved inward, and I wanted to kill the sick son-of-a-bitch who did that to her. My thumb held her hair back as I examined her closer. “Are you hurt anywhere else?”
For the first time since I came into the room, she shook her head, once.
“John,” Sue was in the doorway, “maybe she’d like to get some rest?”
I appreciated a little female guidance and went back to Sloane. “Would you like to get some sleep?”
She started to move, and I quickly jumped up to help her to her feet. I entwined my fingers through hers and led her out of the room, but instead of heading outside, I turned her toward the staircase.
“I’d feel a lot better if you were in my room today. Is that okay?”
She didn’t protest as I led her up the grand staircase to the second level and down the hallway.
Inside my room, I pulled back the covers and watched as she sat like a shell of herself on the side of the bed. I stumbled inside my head. I’d been in Army mode for so long now I tended to forget how to be with another civilian, let alone a woman. Did I take charge, or did I leave her be? I went with the first idea, because I thought that was what she needed.
I bent down to remove her shoes, and that seemed to bring her back to me a little.
“Would you like something to sleep in? A shirt and shorts?”
“Pain pill?” She barely spoke.
“Sure.” I reached into my bedside table and handed her a few while I raced to the bathroom to get her some water. After she took the medication, I helped her into bed and tucked the covers in around her.
I reached to turn the lights off, and her hand reached for mine.
“Don’t tell Frank.” Her voice was barely a whisper.
“Tell him what? That you’re here?” I didn’t care about rules anymore. Cole had paved that road for us, and right now I was just so friggin’ thankful.
“No,” her small body coiled tightly into a ball, “that I was so scared.” She broke into sobs, and I pulled back the covers and molded my body to hers.
“Frank wouldn’t care that you were scared.” I kissed her head and wanted to take the hurt away. “He only cares that you’re all right.” I knew she knew this. They were quite close, but I also knew that when your life got railroaded that fast, you tended to think irrationally.
“You need sleep.” I nuzzled my head into her neck. “Things will be easier after your brain gets some rest.” I held her tightly and once again whispered an apology into her ear. “I’m so sorry, Sloane. Please forgive me for being such as ass.”
Forty minutes later, my phone lit up the dark room, and I checked the screen.
Logan: Briefing in 5, ship out in 20.
Shit.
I grabbed my shirt, hauling it over my head, and rushed downstairs, nearly tripping over Scoot along the way. He just glared at me and continued to bathe himself on the bottom stair. I rolled my eyes and kept moving.
“Don’t worry.” Sue handed me a cup of coffee while I scarfed down my omelet. “I know you’re worried about leaving, but you know we will watch over her.”