The Countess Page 0,93

marriage. Richard hasn't yet started to treat you differently. I haven't heard anything even remotely resembling a criticism of you from him, and he trusts your judgment where George didn't. As for consummating the marriage, the man did that before the two of you were even married."

Grace sighed. "Child, you have a choice here. You can trust that he is the man he is presenting now and treat him accordingly, or you can keep him at arm's length lest he hurt you as you have been doing."

Christiana frowned. "I haven't been keeping him at arm's length."

"Oh?" she asked dryly. "Wel , you haven't been yourself around him either. I have known you al your life and you have always been a bit of a hoyden. You may fool others, but I know you are not the prim proper lady who embroiders on a journey in a bouncing carriage."

She glanced at her sharply. "How did you know - "

"I saw it in your hand as you got in the carriage," Grace said dryly, moving to kneel beside the tub again. "I also saw it go flying out the window before we stopped for lunch."

"Richard threw it out. He asked if I liked doing it and when I said no, he snatched it away and threw it out the window. He said with him I didn't need to do things I didn't care to do."

"Then listen to him," Grace said firmly, urging her to lean back and dip her head in the water to soak her hair. Once she was upright again, Grace began to soap the long strands and said, "You have not been yourself since marrying George and that was understandable the way he picked and chewed away at your self-respect. You are better now than while he lived, but - "

"He has only been dead for a couple days," Christiana pointed out in her own defense.

"I know that," she assured her solemnly. "But his death freed you from a cage of sorts. You should be fluttering about like mad, happy to be loose. Instead you are stil trying to be the proper little lady he insisted you should be.

There is no sparkle in your eye, no bubbly chatter, no running about barefoot under your gown as you used to." She used her hold on Christiana's hair to tilt her head to meet her gaze, "And you stood there wooden as a dol when Lord Radnor kissed you before leaving this morning. Tel me you didn't want to kiss him back. I could tel you did. Your hands bal ed up into fists to avoid the temptation and you swayed, and then caught yourself. You wanted to kiss him, didn't you?"

Christiana blushed. "Yes, but it is daytime and I was not sure a proper lady would - "

"No man wants a proper lady in his bedroom, or in his house for that matter,"

Grace assured her dryly. "Certainly, be proper when out in society, but you need not be so proper at home around him. Do you think your mother was always the proper lady? No, she wasn't. Where do you think you learned to run about barefoot in the first place?"

Christiana's eyebrows rose. She had only been five when her mother died and didn't recal much of her. She hadn't realized her mother had run about the estate barefoot.

"If you want marriage with a man who loves you, then you have to be the true you, not some proper lady you think he wants. That is the game Di -

George played to convince you to marry him. Do not play that game with Richard. Be yourself," she said firmly.

"What if he does not like the real me?" Christiana asked unhappily.

"Then we shal pray he drops dead like George did and find you a man who wil ,"

Grace said stoutly.

"Grace!" Christiana cried with shock.

"Oh, you know I am teasing," Grace muttered, urging her to lean back so she could rinse her hair. "Do not worry about his not liking the real you. That won't happen, my lady. Take it from me, you are easy to love."

Christiana opened her eyes and met Grace's gaze. She would have hugged the woman for the kind words if she weren't reclining in the tub as the woman poured water over her hair to rinse away the soap. The best she could do was reach up and squeeze her arm affectionately. She then quickly closed her eyes as the soapy water splashed toward them and