me. I know that I should feel remorse, that snuffing out another human life should weigh heavily on my conscience, but I don’t, and it doesn’t. I didn’t enjoy doing it, but I wouldn’t hesitate to do it again.
In one squeeze of my finger, I dove straight into the gray area that Gabriel operates his whole life within, and it’s not the wretched place I thought it was. In fact, I have an odd sense of clarity. The remaining misgivings I’d had about participating in the dark side of Gabriel’s business flutter away because I know that at the end of the day, I will always do what I feel is right. The darkness won’t turn me into someone unrecognizable. I might be more myself now than I ever have been.
Gabriel is still asleep when I get back to the room. A little bed has been made for me beside his, but for now, I go to the chair. I rest my hand over his and stare at him, sleeping peacefully, eyes flickering behind his closed lids. I hope he’s dreaming about something nice.
I’m suddenly exhausted. I know I should go to the cot, but I’m hesitant to take my eyes off him, like if I do, he will disappear in a puff of smoke. So I hold out a minute longer.
Just another minute…
I wake suddenly, shooting upright from where I’d been resting my forehead on the side of Gabriel’s bed. I whirl around and check the corners of the room, but there’s nobody there. With a sagging sigh, I turn back to Gabriel and notice him smiling at me in amusement.
“Good morning,” he says.
The sky is still black outside. I check the time on my phone and see it’s 3:30 a.m.
“Good morning to you too,” I say. “You should be asleep still. You need to rest.”
“I know.” He lifts his hand and strokes my cheek. “I heard that you’ve started the arrangements for the funerals. Thank you for doing that.”
“It was what you would’ve done if—”
“If I hadn’t been hopped up on pain meds?” he asks. “You’re right. And that’s what makes you such a good partner for me—you know me, know how I operate, what I would do in certain situations.”
I laugh. “And you think I’m always going to do what you would do?”
“I didn’t say that.” He pats my hand. “You do the right thing, though. And that’s always what I try to do.” Gabriel smiles gently. “I’m proud of you, Alexis. You’re going to make a great queen.”
My cheeks flush, and I glance away. I’ve spent so long trying to gain Gabriel’s trust, and now that I have it, it feels even sweeter for having worked so hard to earn it.
“Thanks,” I say, because what else can I say to that?
Gabriel tips my chin back toward him. “I love you so much more than I ever thought I could love anyone,” he says in a gravelly voice. Will you marry me?”
I nearly choke on my own tongue.
With everything going on with the Irish and the Cartel and the purple heroin, I guess I never thought about the next step in our relationship. It always seemed more important to focus on making it through the day without losing life or limb. But now…Now I’ve never wanted anything more in my life than to be Gabriel Bellucci’s wife.
I nod so hard that my neck hurts, tears gathering in my eyes. “Yes, of course!” I rush to lean over and kiss him, brushing my hand over his chest in the process.
Gabriel flinches, but when I try to pull back, he grabs the sides of my face and pulls my lips hard against his. It’s such a joyous, victorious kiss. It’s a kiss that yells from the rooftops that we have vanquished our enemies and that the best years of our lives are ahead of us.
It’s a kiss of hope.
When we finally come up for air, Gabriel grins at me. His left cheek dimples, and the sight of his rugged features taking on that boyish tilt makes my heart flip flop.
“Come up here,” he says, shuffling to the side of the bed.
I eye the tiny sliver he has freed up skeptically. “Gabriel, I don’t think there’s room.”
“There will always be room for you at my side,” he says sagely.
“I see the drugs are still doing their job,” I remark. “Literally, I don’t think I’m going to fit.”
Gabriel’s eyes meet mine, and his stare is full of authority. “Alexis, get on