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was that the divinity that hedges about those whose concerns run to sacred dance and Beings of Light would somehow be kind to him and protect him from the worst dangers of this world. And lightning, she reflected, tended not to strike in the same place twice. Could one say that same thing, though, of electricity? Somehow she thought not.

“The important thing,” Berthea muttered, “is that you did not die.”

Terence thought about this for a moment. “But I did,” he said. “I died. The ambulance man told the doctor that my heart had stopped when they picked me up. And I saw them trying to start it in the ambulance with that pad thing. A battery charger perhaps.”

Berthea looked doubtful. “You saw that? But your eyes were quite closed, Terence. I was there, remember? I was in the ambulance with you.”

Terence nodded. “Yes, I saw you. I saw you sitting …” He hesitated for a moment as he clarified his recollection. “You were sitting at the back, at my left side. You were holding a handkerchief in your hand and twisting it round and round. I saw you. I also saw you take my hand and look at the blood that was on it. Here, you see, where the bandage is.”

Berthea said nothing. She had the handkerchief in her pocket, and she remembered that she had twisted it so tightly that the fabric had torn.

“You see,” Terence continued, “I had died and I was hovering—that’s the only word for it—hovering at the top of the ambulance, looking down. I saw everything—you and the ambulance man and my own body lying there. It was very clear.

“And then I was called away for a few minutes. I was led through a tunnel of some sort, a tunnel that had light at the end. Very bright, lovely light. And there were people there—very gentle people—who took my hand and said that I was forgiven. They said that they understood and I was not to worry about anything. And the AA was there too—some AA men in their uniforms, but with a light behind them, shining. They said I was not to worry about the Morris—they were very kind.”

Berthea could not contain her surprise. “AA men?”

“Yes,” said Terence. “They were not the usual AA men who come to help me with the car in Cheltenham. I did not know who these ones were. But one of them said, ‘Don’t imagine that there are no AA men in heaven. We’re here too. We’re ready.’

“And then somebody came to my side and said to me, ‘It is not your time yet; you must go back. There is work for you to do.’” Terence paused and looked at his sister. “Do you believe me, Berthy? Or do you think I’m making all this up?”

Berthea thought for a moment. She had read of near-death experiences and knew their general shape. People who had died—at least in the sense of their heart having stopped—upon recovery sometimes reported going through a tunnel and being ushered into the presence of light. They were sincere in these accounts, and often withheld them from others because they feared ridicule. She had put all this down to the last flickerings of oxygen-deprived consciousness, although the common features of these experiences were puzzling; if all this was entirely subjective, then surely accounts of these experiences would differ widely? Of course, Terence had introduced precisely such a subjective factor: AA men. That was ludicrous really, unless the AA men were symbolic of something—of care and attention and kindness to those in need. And why should they not be such symbols? In the iconography of European painting it was St. Christopher who performed such a role; in the iconography of a society in which saints and their doings were becoming a distant memory, meaningless to so many, perhaps it was appropriate that AA men should fulfil the role saints had previously had.

She looked at Terence. “Oh, Terence,” she began, but did not finish her sentence. Terence’s eyes had closed.

“Eh?” he muttered sleepily. “Eh, eh?”

She took his hand and stroked it; his frail, foolish, human hand. He was still talking about the AA; dear Terence, dear constantly searching but never finding Terence.

47. Your Shoes, Your Sad Shoes

AS WILLIAM BEGAN to make his way back to Corduroy Mansions, he became aware that Freddie de la Hay was trying to tell him something. The dog, who had been trotting happily at his side, circled round and sat down pointedly in