Contingency Plan (Blackbridge Security #3) - Marie James Page 0,5
the things I cling to for my own sanity made me realize leaving wasn’t an option. It’s not exactly a prison. I can spend money on whatever I want. I can go anywhere I please, anytime I desire, but with the stipulation that I don’t cause trouble for them and I take my security details with me.
How sad is it that I grew attached to Phillip? He has been the only constant in my life for months since I’ve been alienating the acquaintances I, at one point, thought were my friends. Being sober and clean has opened my eyes to a lot of things, and it’s left me insanely lonely. For a while, I could get lost in the idea that Phillip was my friend. He went everywhere with me. If I wanted to go shopping, he drove me. If I had a doctor’s appointment, he tagged along. I mean, I know it was his job, but his presence was consistent.
But Ronald moved to Seattle, leaving New York City behind for a more favorable position in his growing company. He left Phillip behind until he could find a replacement. I’ve behaved. For months I’ve been on my best behavior, all in an attempt to get Phillip to stay with me.
He didn’t. Of course, he didn’t. Why would he? The man he loves moved, and he wanted to be with him. I wasn’t taking it personally until Flynn took over today and Phillip was out the front door without whispering a goodbye. Maybe the trouble I caused before I calmed down was too big to forgive. Maybe the time we spent watching television and laughing at ridiculous reality shows was fake on his part. Maybe he was nice to me to appease me, another way to manipulate me into behaving.
The man I’d grown to call a friend just left without a word, just left like we hadn’t spent the last two years growing close.
I shake my head, ridding it of those thoughts, and make my way out of the kitchen into the attached garage. The row of expensive cars doesn’t even make me look twice. I grew up with money, leaving me expectant and selfish. I’m no better than the alleged friends I find myself complaining about constantly.
By the time I open the door to my BMW and settle in the seat, I already want to go back inside. I’m not going to the party Sasha wants me to bring drugs to. I no longer even have access to drugs, and that’s another shitty thing I’ve done. My drug dealer, a guy I met the second semester of college before I dropped out, ended up in jail while I went to rehab with no criminal charges filed. He got six months for possession and I got cucumber water and therapy. While still in my bitter phase, it didn’t seem like much. I spent many hours thinking he should’ve gotten more for ruining my life. I spent months without credit cards, a car, and cell phone after all, but it didn’t take long for me to realize that way of thinking was beyond screwed up.
Will may have ruined his own life by selling drugs, but my consequences are my own. It’s taken months in therapy for me to accept it.
As I press the ignition switch on my car, my eyes dart back to the closed door leading into the house. I’m not going to complain to my parents about the guy asleep on the couch if it means I get a little time to myself, but knowing he isn’t going to chase me makes this seem pointless.
I should just go back inside, but a milkshake sounds like a good idea. Maybe he’ll wake up and notice I’m gone and the real fun will begin.
After pressing the button for the garage door, I check my phone to make sure the ringer is turned on. Making a mental bet that he calls within fifteen minutes, I glance in the rearview mirror to back out and scream.
Blue eyes stare back at me. A sexy mouth turned down in a frown.
My hand flies to my chest, but I can’t seem to break eye contact with him. He doesn’t say a word as I stare at him, realizing for the first time just how similar to Henry Cavill he looks. Dark hair, vibrant blue eyes, a tilt to his head that just reads trouble and challenge.
Unable to resist any longer, I spin my head around and stare