The Construction of Cheer - Liz Isaacson Page 0,44
remember what I said, but I remember what you did.
You said, “I’ll help you, Daddy.”
And my dear Bear, you helped me the rest of the day, and every day since. By the time Mother came home, long after dark, I’d fed you boys two meals and managed to give you baths too. I wept and begged her to never leave me alone with the children again, and she told me of course she would.
They were my children, and if I’d love them half as much as I loved Shiloh Ridge, I’d be a better man. She expected me to be that better man.
I didn’t know how to do that, but I wanted to. For her. For all you kids, but mostly for you, Bear. I can still see those bright blue eyes only inches from mine. I can hear your tinny, childlike voice saying, “I’ll help you, Daddy.”
Every day, you taught me something new, all the way to today when I watched you gather all the children together outside in the hallway. I watched them look to you the way I have so many times, and I watched you lead them in prayer before you came in.
You have a powerful, powerful personality. Grandmother saw it instantly, and when I told her what Mother had done, she said, “Good for her. You better learn to treat her right, Stone. Your children are watching you. God sent you a bear of a man inside that little boy. He’s a champion. Do not stifle him.”
I’ve tried not to stifle you, Bear. Lord knows I’ve tried.
I am not going to be here much longer. I can feel it in my bones and in my very soul. I want you to know I love you with all the energy the Good Lord will let me have. I trust you beyond measure to take Shiloh Ridge into the future and pass it along to your son or daughter. I believe you will know how to treat the woman you find to love much better than I treated Mother in those early years.
I am grateful for the gift of forgiveness. I am grateful for my family and the time God has given me with them. Oh, how I wish I could have more, but I cannot.
Please, watch out for Bishop. I fear for him the most, because we are so very important to one another, and he will need your champion heart in the days and years after I am gone.
I leave you with the words of Grandmother, whom I know you loved.
Do not stifle him. Do not stifle yourself, Bear. Do not stifle Bishop. Do not stifle that championship spirit you were named for.
Embrace it, and you will never be led astray.
I love you, and I pray that anything I have done that you resent or are bitter about will be forgiven in the future.
Daddy
Bear sobbed as he finished reading the letter, letting go of it with one hand as he released all the tension and nervousness from his body.
He rarely cried, but the powerful emotions washing over him and through him could not be released any other way.
Great sobs wracked his chest, and he thought he’d never get another proper breath. He missed his father so much that anger descended upon him that God had taken him so soon.
Just as quickly as that had come, it all faded.
Bear quieted, and he wiped his face clean and dry.
“A champion heart,” he whispered. “Thank you, Grandmother.” He’d loved her too, and he loved this story he’d never heard before. He didn’t remember being home with his father that day, and Mother had never said a word about such things.
“Bear?”
He looked up as Sammy pushed the door in one inch at a time. “Can I come in?”
Bear’s tears started anew at the beautiful, calming sight of her. “Yes,” he said, gesturing her forward. “Come and read this letter.”
She hurried toward him, pure alarm on her face. “You’re crying, Bear.”
He took her right onto his lap and buried his face in her chest. “I love you,” he said. “I love you beyond anything else.”
“You’re scaring me,” she whispered.
“It’s good,” he said, trying to get his eyes to stop watering. He handed her the letter. “Read it. It’s good. Nothing to be scared of.”
She took the paper but didn’t start reading. “This is one of those times when the grief sneaks up on you, isn’t it?” She wasn’t really asking, and Bear didn’t really need to answer.