I nodded, carefully choosing my words. “It felt like you were still around. It made…Penny happy when I did it.” Penny, my sweet darling, had been waiting for him just the same.
Sorrow crossed his face. “How’s our girl, dove?”
I swallowed, suddenly overcome with another wave of emotion. “Good, Conor. She’s good.”
She’s good. And she’s angry. And she wants to hurt people when they make her mad, but she’s so funny and bright, and God, she needs you. There was so much he had to learn about our daughter. The two sides to her, how she genuinely was a beautiful soul despite her impulsive nature.
He forced a nod, turned his back to me and stared down at his clothes. He eyed his frayed shirt – frayed from overuse – tossing back at me, “You didn’t have the house demolished.”
“We had a choice to demolish the rest of it, but…it didn’t seem right with you being in prison. I thought you’d make that choice when you got out. Don’t get me wrong, the council had a lot to say about it.”
“He noticed the smoke before we did and came running in.” Adding so as not to make him feel like we were in any danger, I said, “I would have noticed too.”
I wasn’t sure my words helped. I could tell he felt guilty he wasn’t there to do the saving. Men were possessive like that. They felt responsible for bad events even when it was out of their control.
He just managed another nod before dropping the towel. There it was, a tiny glimpse of the old Conor who didn’t give a shit about his nudity. Jesus, he was solid. And Jesus, he was like a tall glass of water in the desert. I had to gulp and glance away, waiting for him to change.
My mouth was so dry. I was breathing so heavy with my mouth open. I pressed my lips together, trying to calm my fucking nerves. For a few moments it was completely still. I didn’t hear his movements, didn’t hear the clothes coming on. I shot a quick look in his direction and froze.
He was staring back at me with such a heavy expression, like he too was feeling the same way. I couldn’t breathe, and I didn’t think he did, either. I looked him over very quickly. His naked body sent another throb to the pit of my belly, to the space between my legs. The space he owned and had thoroughly coveted once.
“Are you uncomfortable, dove?” he asked in a low voice.
“No,” I quickly answered, but my face burned hot and I looked away again.
“Is this too fast for you?”
“No.”
“Then look at me.”
My eyes flickered back to him. I trained them on his face, making sure they didn’t wander. It wasn’t cool to be this horny so soon, right? I couldn’t help it, though. For so long, I’d closed my emotions off, and now they were bursting at the seams.
I wanted to jump on him.
I wanted to kiss him.
I wanted to lick every inch of him.
I missed him so much.
“I just missed you,” I squeaked out, feeling the lump in my throat thicken. “I’m kind of freaking out you’re here.”
“I wanted to see you earlier, at the club.”
“I know.”
“But it didn’t feel right doing it there, with all those people…”
“It’s okay,” I assured him. “You’re here now.”
“I am,” he said, nodding as he glanced around the room like he was realizing it. I couldn’t shake the haunted look in his eyes. “I’m here.”
I watched him carefully as his chest rose and fell. At some point he’d held a breath in, letting it out slowly as he examined every inch of the room we were in. When his eyes found mine again, I felt a jolt to my heart. I stood up straightener, trying to smile.
There was tension. Maybe not from him because he looked so calm, but his eyes were sunken in, and his face seemed gaunt from sleeplessness, or maybe even hunger.
“Have you eaten today?” I asked him.
He took a few moments to respond before shaking his head slowly. “No.”
“Nothing at all?”
Another slow shake. “No.”
Feeling like I suddenly had a purpose, I told him, “I’ll fix you something to eat real quick.”
I didn’t wait for him to respond. I strode to the door, telling him I’d be a few minutes. The second I stepped out of the bedroom, I