crossed, looking in both directions. The quiet made me forlorn. I glanced back at the house, at Penny’s window. Sound asleep, that girl never twitched, and I wished I had her appetite for sleep.
Endless nights such as these were a torment.
And today…today felt like it was never going to end. And I didn’t want it to. I didn’t want to sleep knowing he was out here. Somewhere.
Was he thinking of me right now? Was he too looking up at the night stars, getting lost in them, remembering what we were?
I felt such fierce fear right then thinking he might not be. Thinking maybe…maybe he was done with me. Maybe he had let me go. Maybe those years pining were for nothing.
I looked up, closing my eyes to the gentle raindrops hiding my tears. The wind grew more vicious, so loud in my ears, I couldn’t hear myself breathe. My hair fell all around me, still wet from the shower. I shook, opening my eyes finally to see a break in the sky. Clouds dispersed; a small pocket of stars shone right when I needed it. They twinkled, tiny bright dots amongst the murk, like a beacon of hope for the lost.
I felt strangely at peace right then.
I felt like he was here.
Like he was pining for me, and my fears were unfounded.
I could feel him.
I swear, I could…
“Charlotte.”
His hushed voice hit me so suddenly, I stilled as a chill ran down my spine.
My body became unresponsive.
The shock was so great, I had to will my body to move.
It took so long to get a breath in. I turned around slowly… following the voice.
I knew I’d find him there, but I was still unprepared.
He was distant from me. A good six feet. He stood still, like he’d been standing there for a while, watching me. It took me a long moment to accept that he was in front of me, this giant man, taller than I remembered, bigger than he used to be. Different and the same all at once, Conor looked wrecked. He was saturated, exhausted, like he’d been walking in the cold for hours.
He stared at me, his soaked face wrought with anguish. His skin looked ghostly white. If he was pained by the cold, he didn’t show it. He was so drenched, his t-shirt was plastered to his upper body; every line, muscle, indent was so visible, it was like he was wearing nothing at all. He stared at me, into me, the longing in his eyes apparent. I watched the pain in his expression. Watched the look I prayed every night to see again creep into his features. The look that made my knees weak. The look that said he revered me still.
I sucked a breath in, dizzied by him, overcome with emotion.
I felt everything at once.
Disbelief, awe, pure pleasure.
This was real. He was here. He had come for me, for Penny, for us.
Still reeling from his presence, I couldn’t form words.
“You waited.” His voice sounded pained. He looked at me like he couldn’t believe such a thing. He needed to hear it for himself.
“I promised,” I choked out, my voice hardly above a whisper. “Don’t you remember?”
His eyes shined with unshed tears.
He remembered.
Oh, my heart. It pounded for dear life.
And my soul…it pulsated beneath my flesh in yearning.
I closed the gap between us, taking small steps to him. He watched me carefully, like he couldn’t trust me, like this wasn’t real. He didn’t move, but I felt he might be skittish, so I took my time. He seemed to relax the closer I got, so I dared myself to keep going.
I stood so close to him, staring up at into those haunted blue eyes. He looked down at me, hardly breathing, taking in every single move I made. The confidence from before was absent. The cockiness was gone from his gaze. He seemed…a shell. I felt the difference in him straightaway.
I thought of what Jem said.
He was all kinds of wrong.
I knew this man once. I knew him so well, could tell you everything he was feeling or thinking with just one look.
It was why I was so shaken just then. I felt alarmed because this man wasn’t him. Conor’s tough walls were gone. He was allowing me to see him in all his rawness, in all his hurt. This man’s brokenness ran deep, and I wanted to hold him and feel his touch.
I slowly raised my hand and rested it against his cheek. He blinked