whispered words in her ear none of us could hear. It was hard not to get emotional myself. When he finally pulled back, he ripped the sunglasses off her red face.
“Great,” she grumbled, “now my make-up is ruined.”
He smiled. “Still the most beautiful sister I ever did see.”
Her face fell as she blinked up at him, tears still falling. “I missed you, Conor. I…I know I should have seen you sooner but…I didn’t want you to find another reason to be disappointed in me. But I wanted to. I’ve missed you, brother.”
He sniffed, nodding, hiding how much those words meant to him. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this. Disappointed is the last thing I’ll ever be.”
Megan showed up soon after, seeming relieved that her daughter had not disintegrated into a psychotic woman. In fact, her jaw was on the floor when she saw her in Conor’s lap, her head on his chest.
Tears burned her eyes as she watched. “He held her like that when she was young,” she whispered. “Every time she fell, he gathered her in his arms and just held her. I haven’t seen it in so long.”
I cleared my throat to rid the lump there and wrapped an arm around her. She smiled at my warmth and pressed her head to mine. “He’s doing better, Charlotte. You’re already bringing him back to us.”
Everyone dug into the pizzas. Conversation flowed. About Lily, about school, about work, about Blackwater and childhood stories. Juicy gossip was brought up about Conor’s old friends, and he laughed at the hillbilly drama.
It was good for him to be around everyone.
He looked so relaxed and happy.
I hung in the background, choosing to watch than be involved. I wasn’t going to pretend I understood half the stories brought up. These were long before I was in the picture.
But I did long to understand. It would have been interesting being brought up in this town and witnessing all these crazy stories. It would have been adorable to see Conor as a kid, even Ember too. They laughed so hard at memories they shared, and I felt a little tug in my chest, wishing I understood what it felt like to be close to a sibling, or to even have a best friend like Jem through it all.
Penny was already making a mess of the pink dress I’d put her in. Her ponytail was undone, her hair was everywhere, and she was sloppily eating pizza while leaning against Lily’s side. Lily, the ever amazing cousin that she was, wrapped her arm around Penny and tugged her close, but her eyes were on Jem and she was throwing bits of food at him to piss him off. He wound up flicking his pizza curst at her face and she made a dramatic squeal.
It was nice to see Jem in good spirits, too.
I felt happy, smiling broadly, laughing along with the jokes.
But in my peripheral, I saw a figure hovering nearby. I felt his eyes on me. I swallowed hard, choosing not to look.
Billy was not welcome here.
I was happy.
There was no reason for Billy to be there.
I buried my face in my hands, shaking my head.
What the fuck was wrong with me?
I’d been hiding out in the bathroom for ages. I knew we were supposed to go sometime soon. I needed to balance myself out first and not look like a shaking mess. I stared down at my hands, fighting to stop the tremors.
I tried to conjure up Billy right then, to ask him what the hell he was doing, but he wasn’t showing and I felt like a crazy person because he was part of me. Like that shitty therapist had said, he was an extension of me.
“You’re not supposed to show when I’m happy,” I cried out, feeling angry. “You know that.”
I was sick of feeling haunted by him.
More shocking than that, the thought of never seeing him – of never being reminded of that little boy I used to love – terrified me at the same time.
A knock on the bathroom pulled me out of my reveries.
“We’re heading out,” Ember called. “You coming, or are you going to keep us waiting?”
“I’ll be right there,” I bit back.
“How long?”
Oh, my God. “Not long!”
“Hurry up, Char.”
Jeez, did it kill her to be nice?
She let out an over the top sigh and walked off, those damn heels scratching along the hardwood.
I quickly brushed the hair from my face and wiped the tears under